TO 10 IF WE LAND
ON OUR WHEELS.
BETTER MAKE SURE WE HIT
THAT RAMP JUST RIGHT,
OTHERWISE IT WOULD VEER OFF
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
OR IT COULD JUST GO
HEADFIRST INTO THAT BANK.
IF THAT HAPPENS, THERE'S
JUST ONE THING TO DO.
WHAT'S THAT?
PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS
AND KISS YOUR ASS GOOD-BYE.
IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE.
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.
YOU DON'T DRINK, DO YOU?
I'M WILLING TO START.
DAMN GOOD TIME TO DO IT.
Ski: YOU KNOW, ALL THIS
HANGING AROUND WITH YOU
IS STARTING
TO RUB OFF ON ME.
HOW'S THAT?
WELL, A COUPLE WAYS--
[BURPS]
EXCUSE ME.
MY FIRST MARRIAGE
YOU KNOW,
IS MORE THAN LIKELY
IN THE SHITTER.
OH, YEAH.
AND I'M LEARNING
TO DRINK AND LIKING IT.
YEAH. WELL...
MY PRESENT RELATIONSHIP,
UH, IS NOT GOOD.
ACTUALLY, IT'S IN
THE SHITTER, TOO.
WELL, WHAT THE HELL
IS IT ABOUT STUNTMEN
AND THEIR WIVES
AND RELATIONSHIPS?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A LITTLE LIKE--
IT'S A LITTLE LIKE
DRINKIN' AND DRIVIN'.
EVENTUALLY, THERE'S GOING
TO BE A HELL OF A WRECK.
Man: HEY, GUYS.
HEY. OH, HEY.
THIS YOUR CAR?
YEAH.
LOOKS PRETTY FAST.
LOOKS AIN'T
DECEIVING.
FROM THE LOOKS
OF THEM BEER CANS,
I'D SAY YOU TWO GUYS
ARE A LITTLE DRUNK.
LIKE I SAID,
LOOKS AIN'T DECEIVING,
YOU OLD FART.
BETTER LET ME
HANDLE THIS.
I HOPE YOU AREN'T PLANNING ON
DOING ANY MORE DRIVING TODAY.
WE AREN'T GONNA DO
ANY MORE DRIVING.
I JUST CALLED MY MOTHER,
AND SHE'S GONNA COME
OUT HERE AND PICK US UP
AND TAKE US HOME. I'M
GONNA LEAVE THE CAR HERE
AND GO ON HOME WITH
MY MOTHER. HA HA HA!
YOUR MOTHER?
YEAH.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
OLD FART.
SO THE QUEEN SAYS
TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER...
"I GOT A BROTHER-IN-LAW
THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPHER."
THE PHOTOGRAPHER SAYS,
"THAT'S NOT SO STRANGE,
I GOT A BROTHER-IN-LAW
THAT'S A QUEEN." HA HA!
OH, LOOK WHO WE GOT HERE.
HOWDY, YOU OLD FART.
AFTERNOON, OFFICER.
NICE DAY, ISN'T IT?
PULL UP!
RIGHT OVER THERE!
WHAT'S THAT?
I SAID,
PULL OVER UP FRONT!
PULL OVER UP FRONT,
THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
GOTCHA!
SHALL WE?
[CHUCKLES] SAY GOOD-BYE
TO THE NICE OFFICER.
BYE-BYE, NICE OFFICER!
GREAT GOD ALMIGHTY!
HEADQUARTERS!
NEVER MIND.
Roger on radio: ALL RIGHT,
TONY, I'M COMING DOWN.
GET HOOPER AND SKI
READY, WILL YOU?
ALL RIGHT,
MOVE IT OUT OF HERE!
THE HELICOPTER
IS COMING DOWN!
Roger: TONY, DO I HAVE
TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?
GET THOSE PEOPLE
OUT OF HERE.
HOOPER! SKI! GET OVER HERE!
ROGER WANTS YOU!
LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
OVER HERE!
YOU KNOW WE'LL BE PUTTING
AWAY THIS THING HERE?
WE'RE GONNA
BLOW ALL THIS UP.
AS YOU REMEMBER,
IT'S A GIANT EARTHQUAKE,
YOU KNOW,
WITH FIRES, EXPLOSIONS,
BUILDINGS
FALLING EVERYWHERE.
CHAOS, TERROR...AND
YOU'LL BE DRIVING THROUGH IT.
IT HAS A NICE GRAYNESS,
LIKE LA STRADA.
I'LL BE IN THE CHOPPER
FOR ALL OF THIS,
AND WE START BACK THERE AT
THE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING.
WHEN THE EARTHQUAKE HITS,
WE COLLAPSE THE BUILDING.
THAT'S A GREAT
IDEA, ROGER.
THAT'S GONNA LOOK
TERRIFIC ON FILM.
THIS GAS STATION
IS WHERE YOU'LL FORCE
ONE OF THOSE CARS
CHASING YOU
TO HIT THOSE PUMPS,
AND THAT'LL SET OFF
OUR MAIN TANK.
SENSATIONAL IDEA,
ROGER.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
IT CAN BE FILMED.
Roger: ACTUALLY,
YOU'RE QUITE WRONG, TONY.
THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS
OF DOING IT,
BUT THIS IS
UNDOUBTEDLY THE BEST.
ALL RIGHT, SONNY,
I'M DEPENDING ON YOU HERE.
I WANT SOME GOOD STUNTS,
SOME CARS SKIDDING, CARS
CRASHING INTO EACH OTHER.
BUT THESE SMOKESTACKS
ARE IMPORTANT.
WHEN THEY FALL AND
DEMOLISH EVERYTHING,
THEY'VE GOT
TO JUST MISS YOUR CAR.
THAT IS CRUCIAL
BECAUSE WE CAN'T PUT
THOSE STACKS BACK TOGETHER.
Tony: THAT'S
RIGHT, ROGER.
HERE'S WHERE YOU FIND
THE EXPLOSIVES TRUCK
THAT BLOWS THE BRIDGE,
AND, OF COURSE,
YOUR CAR WILL HAVE
TO JUMP THE RIVER.
Cully: IF WE GO OVER HERE,
WE GET A GOOD VIEW OF THE JUMP.
Jocko: YEAH.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HERE FOR THE JUMP?
IT'S GONNA BE NEAT.
TALK TO YOU LATER, BABE.
Cully: GWEN? GWEN,
YOU WANT TO SEE HIM?
NO.
AFTERWARD.
ROGER WANTS TO TALK
TO YOU