FBI, are you?
By the way, if she decided that you are from FBI, she is American!
Forget her! Maybe she is old, or fat!
If she is Americal, then she is fat for certain!
So, nothing came out, and then I met Lena.
"What is hacker? It looks like hacker is cool."
But she was mistaken. There is no romance in my life.
If you just look at it: a man sits, looks in the monitor,
Suddenly freaks out.
At night sometimes there are such dreams,
that better is not to sleep at all.
"Have you hacked the Server of Heaven?"
Or sometimes I dream that I forgot all my passwords.
- Shut up, I am sleeping!
Lena doesn't like when I try to remember them.
Stop, what am I talking about?
Everything started with something different.
Everything started with a can.
- You live here like a bum! You even make your tea in a pan!
- Lena, what is the difference?
- Normal people feel the difference. What a hacker are you?
You can't earn money, you can't steal, what can you do?
- If I start to steal money, they will find me.
Stealing is too dangerous.
- Then steal at least a teapot from the internet!
Are you a hacker or an idiot?
Alright, alright.
Shit, junk... what for a teapot is that? An extraemitter?
Too expensive, too expensive... This one isn't bad.
So I look at it and think: the auction is apparently some local,
the teapot isn't too expensive...
And then I did something you should never do.
I entered my address for delivery.
They deliver directly to your home!
This is not a teapot. This is a can.
Somehow she was right. It was a can.
Oh yes. And with that can, everything started.
- I wanted a normal teapot you can plug into an outlet,
and boil water with it.
And this is some kind of nonsense!
- This is no nonsense! It's a rarity. I bid on it in an auction.
- I don't care where you have it from. This is a piece of junk!
"Critical error at address "Lena""
And your whole life is shit!
And you yourself are an idiot! You are annoying me!
"Connection to object Lena will be cancelled in 3 seconds"
Did you understand?
"Program "Sexual relationship" deleted"
That's it. Don't call me anymore!
That's how everything started.
It doesn't matter how, main thing is, everything started...
and clouds started to assemble over me.
[Zuerich, Switzerland]
No! No! That cannot be! Do you see?
I don't believe it. Is already sold!
To whom can I speak other than the author of the auction?
These are our family values!
Can you please give me any information?
Of course. Thank you.
- Hello? Our hacker has appeared.
Ryzhov Gennadiy Vitalyevich!
Oh man, I had such problems with that delivery.
KTD, customs... All in all, that makes 1000$.
What? 1000$? Delivery is more expensive than the article?
For that money I don't need that can at all.
As you like. The article was delivered,
but the addressee doesn't want to accept...
I'll have to send some queries then.
We should find out who the addressee is,
how he got the article.
Wait. Don't send out any queries.
The delivery can't be that expensive?
It can. It's written on your forehead who you are and what you do.
Listen. If the money isn't here by today evening,
I'll help you work for it.
You are, after all, our... hacker.
And? Did your rambling work?
It did, it did. When I started talking about the cops, he peed his pants.
What a smell. For that money there could be a jinni with it!
I call you, jinni, come out!
Yes! Michael Jordan is a lamer!
Gennadiy Ryzhov stole the can directly from under my nose.
I will transform him into a worm!
Yes! He earned it!
Yeah. I need the money today. What?
I'm supposed to sell my computer?
Are you an idiot? I'd rather sell my kidney.
What are you doing?
He yelled at me!
Who are you anyways?
jinn.
What? A jinn? Why didn't I know myself? Something like Hottabych?
Hottabych, exactly. Call me whatever you want, master.
Listen, Hottabych. Get out of here, understand?
Understood nothing!
With the fist into the face... a turn and on