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What you doin'? Excuse me,
madam, I'd like to talk to you.
I want you to meet my
friend. His name is Jonathan.
Jonathan, this is madam.
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Quoi? Voulez-vous
couchez avec moi ce soir?
Oh, you asshole.
She likes you. What'd she do that
for? I just asked her out for dinner.
No, no, no. You asked her if she would
like to go to bed with you tonight.
- I did?
- "I thought you took French. "
I did take French.
I mean, I can say,
"This is my pencil, my pencil
is big," that kind of stuff.
Under the right circumstances,
that could be useful. Yeah?
Yeah. We gotta find those
circumstances, Manolo.
Thank you. This is all in French,
man. I can't understand this.
Ah, wait a minute, wait
a minute, wait a minute.
Can you understand that? Oui.
Manolo, look at this place.
It's incredible!
It says here there are
over 208,000 works of art.
And that's like Roman,
Ancient Greek,
the Mona Lisa.
- "Venus de Milo's here. "
- Yeah, you mean the chick with no arms?
Yeah, that's the one.
I mean, this is the palace where the
French kings lived before Versailles.
And then Napoleon turned it into
the biggest museum in the world.
What is your name?
Heidi.
I am Carlos, from Algeria.
Have you heard of me?
Isn't there a terrorist
named Carlos? Shh!
I need your help. I need you
to walk with me to my hotel.
I cannot walk
the streets of Paris alone.
Will you help me?
I don't know...
Shh!
Say no more.
I shall return.
What's goin' on?
I'm in!
You're in.
Her name is Heidi.
Heidi? She's Swedish. We're
goin' back to the hotel.
Manolo, how'd you
do that so quickly?
Told her my name was Carlos, man,
and I just got back from Algeria.
She thinks I'm a terrorist.
Swedish chicks
go crazy for that shit.
So, give me two hours before
you head back to the hotel.
Well, wait a second. Maybe she's
got a girlfriend or something.
Hey, no offense, but uh...
I'm a terrorist.
I can't be seen with
somebody who looks like Bambi.
I don't look like Bambi.
Okay, so you don't
look like Bambi.
Why don't you go check out the
Eiffel Tower? I already saw it.
See it again.
Come on, gimme a break!
She's Swedish.
Hey.
Happy hunting, amigo.
Monsieur? Uh, do you
"parlez-vous" English?
Un peu.
Uh, "donnez-moi"
"s'il vous plait," um,
"Per-nodd. "
Du grand vin? Donnez-moi,
"s'il vous plait"...
I understand "donnez-moi,"
and "s'il vous plait. "
I don't know what is,
"Per-nodd. "
"P-Per-nodd. "
Here. See.
Ah, "Pair-noh. "
- "Pair-noh. " -
"Monsieur" wishes un Pernod.
"Yes. " Monsieur "does wish"...
Do you take
Travelers Cheques?
Pernod.
Merci.
- "Avec de I'eau?"
- Victor who?
- With water?
- Please!
"Pair-noh. "Geez.
- "Per-nodd. "
- "Avec de I'eau.!"
Mon crayon est large.
Pardon?
Mon crayon est large,
et bon crayon estjaune.
Your pencil is
big and yellow?
- "Oui.!"
- Oh. Nice for you.
What a jerk.
Ahh!
Ahh!
What the hell.
Excusez-moi, madame.
I speak English.
Yeah? So do I.
- Yes?
- Can I buy you a drink?
Well,
I'm drinking coffee.
Drinking coffee. Yeah.
- You know, you are very beautiful.
- I know.
Right, I just didn't
want you to forget.
Excusez-moi, monsieur.
- I speak English.
- May I sit with you?
Yeah. Please.
I was sitting
over there, and...
suddenly you looked like
cute little boy to me.
Little boy. Great.
Oh, I like boys.
You do?
You are a... student?
Yeah, yeah, I'm a student. Excuse me.
I am
graduate student.
Oh, yeah? Where? Berkeley.
In the film school.
Oh, you, uh, you want to be a
writer or director or something?
Or something.
You don't sound, uh,
French. I mean you...
Where are you from? Originally, I
am from Czechoslovakia. Then Berlin.
And now, uh, America.
Oh, yeah?
My name's Sasha Banicek.
Sasha. Um, Sasha, this is boy's name.
But it is like,
how do you say?
"Nig-