would do this to me.
Who knows? Right now your name
and number could be on every wall...
...of every ladies' room
from Chinoise to Le Dфme, man.
You could be the love doctor
of Beverly Hills!
I don't wanna be the love doctor
of Beverly Hills!
- You're going.
- I am not going.
No.
What do you think, Joe?
Portable home-security systems.
I pick them up in Tokyo for a buck
and a quarter, sell them here for $40.
Ain't that something?
It's great. It's really great.
I got 20,000 of these waiting to go into
the warehouse as soon as you build it.
- Right. Right.
- Excuse me, Mr. Bodek.
- Yes, Linda?
- Mr. Rubelinski's calling.
Tell him I'll call him back.
Excuse me. Do you mind if I spend
the night in your trailer tonight?
They're painting my apartment,
and the fumes are-
No problem.
Look, Linda, you sure
you'll be safe down here?
Yeah. I can take care of myself.
Hey, that's not bad. Porking her?
I'm a happily married man, Harry.
At least, I used to be.
Does this kid look like a fruit to you?
You can't tell these days.
I think I'm entitled to be
a little concerned here.
I've tried to talk to the wife.
She won't listen.
Shit. You never get treated
that way with an Oriental woman.
Great sex.
No lip.
I'm married to one.
- Yeah?
- Damn right.
I heard this story once
from this guy back in New York.
This guy was late for work,
and he sees his bus leaving the stop.
His Oriental wife runs
into the street...
...jumps right in front of it
and stops it for him.
That's what marriage is all about,
you ask me.
What happened to the wife?
What?
The wife.
When she jumped in front of the bus.
You're never gonna get it, are you?
I want another chance.
My life is a mess without you.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not ashamed of you.
I'm proud.
I'm gonna tell my parents about you.
I want them to meet you. Their 20th
anniversary is at the end of the month.
And what about your father?
I don't care what my father thinks.
I know my mom's gonna love you.
Look, just don't say no
until you think about it.
Oh, no.
Mr. Bodek.
Mr. Bodek?
Mr. Bodek, you can't stay here.
You've gotta go.
Oh, God.
Please? Please wake up.
Mom?
What are you doing up?
Where's Dad?
- I don't know. We had a fight.
- About me?
Mom, I'm sorry.
Don't worry.
You know, I bet he just crashed out
on the sofa bed at the office.
Yeah, you're probably right.
- Good night.
- Okay, good night.
Oh, Diane...
- Linda!
- Mr. Bodek?
What are you doing here?
I told you they're painting
my place, remember?
- No! Oh, my head. It's killing-
- I'm sorry.
- Linda, we didn't, you know-?
- No, you came in here.
- I couldn't even move you.
- Thank God!
Listen, nobody will believe
that we just slept here.
- Yeah, no-
- No, it's okay.
- It's okay.
- It's okay.
There's nobody here yet.
We're safe. We're safe.
We're safe as long as we don't
ever let anybody know about this.
- I won't.
- Ever. Okay?
- Okay, I won't say a word. I promise.
- Okay.
- No! Don't!
- Mr. Bodek's office.
Linda?
It's your wife!
Hey, Bodek!
Look who's here.
Goofing off on the job, huh?
- What do you want, Jory?
- I wanna give you my order, Rander.
I'll have a Taco Macho.
Extra lettuce. Extra cheese.
A large Coke.
And Jenny's phone number.
You'll never get back to school.
I might as well get a hop on it.
- Listen, asshole, stay away from her.
- Go ahead, no-dick. Take a shot.
Come on, mellow out.
Take a number and sit down.
- You just lost your tip.
- Geek.
Let's see, 9000 plus the 400
you just made, divided by 200...
- What are you doing?
- Let's see, that's only 43 women.
- Seсor Pizza.
- It's about time.
Sorry.
Put it down.
Not on the plant.
So?
So...
You want me to fix you a drink
or something?
If I wanted a drink,
I would have hired a bartender.
- Could you help me with this?
- Sure.
- Shit.
- What's the matter?
Hang on.
Don't move.
My lip is caught in the zipper.
- What?
- My lip is caught in