through his lorgnette, why is that?
Why-why?
He has bad eyes.
Poor guy.
Gentlemen, here he is, the Great Master.
And this is his companion, Maria Ivanovna.
And you said that italians have difficult names.
Please, dear guests, make yourself at home.
Mister Cagliostro!
Let me introduce myself: local artist, Zagosin Matvey Timofeevich.
I dream about painting your portrait.
Later, mylord, later.
Stepan! Stepan, our guest's carriage is broken.
- I see that, master. The axle is broken.
- And the spokes are to be changed...
- How long will it take you?
- A day.
- And two?
- Well... Can finish in two.
- And five?
- Well, if I try real hard... can be five.
- And ten?
Oh, master, your tasks are hard...
I cannot do it alone in ten days.
I need an assistant. Homo sapiens!
Get assistants, as long as it's not before 10 days!
Funny gentlement, huh?
Are they staying long?
That is up to me.
Alen nobi, nostra alis!
Which means - if one man could create,
someone else can always take it apart!
And why are they making it like this?..
That's an english thing!
Everything is up to me here.
Thank you for the treat, everything was great.
But you haven't touched anything, mylord!
That who eats less, lives longer, since with a fork and a knife we're digging our own grave.
That's wise.
I can ready many questions in your eyes.
Oh, count, we heard so much about you!
People make up so many stories about me,
that I'm tired to refute them all.
At the same time, my biography is simple and short.
I was born in Mesopotamia, 2105 years ago.
You must be surprised to hear my ancient year of birth?
No, no surprise.
We had a clerk in the county, who marked birth years with just one digit in passports.
He was saving on ink!
Then he was discovered, sent to prison,
but the passports stayed as they were.
Since they are legal papers after all.
Efimtzev, a merchant, was registered as born in year 3, Kulikov - in year 2…
Kultiakin - in year 1.
So, we have many old people.
This analogy is inappropriate. I'm not,
as you mentioned, old on paper, I in reality was born two thousand years ago…
That year and that hour, Vesuvius erupted.
It is possible that because of this event some energy was transferred to me.
I hope nothing like this happens in your neighborhood?
Nobody's fingers light up, that's the truth.
But sparks can come out of the eyes...
Once there was quite the fireworks…
All hay burned down. And what hay!
Pure clover…
Stop lying! Pure clover...
Your lands are full of carex and burdocks!
How can you, Feodosia Ivanovna,
a load of my hay costs ten rubles.
Maybe it costs that much but nobody's buying!
Your hay is no good!
It only burns well.
If you, count, would like to buy some hay,
buy it from Feodosia Ivanovna, you won't lose.
No, I have good hay.
What are you all talking about?
What lack of understanding! Our guest is talking about different types of events!
I feel that I'm surrounded by skeptics, so lets go back to the meal.
- See this fork?
- Yeah?
- Would you like me to eat it?
- Please be my guest.
Oh please, count? God forgive you!
You're shaming me as a hostess…
Dessert time now! Fimka! Why are standing still!
Bring the chocolate!
Oh yes! That was sincere… Great.
I'm full of awe.
My patients swallowed spoons many times before,
but like this, at the dinner…
a sharp object for dessert
that's great!
We're sincerely grateful to you for that.
Unless of course you'd be able to consume some china in addition to metal things…
Then I'd be speechless!
Thank you mylord. But I'm full,
Time to get down to business.
So, where is your idol, mister Fediashev?
Show it to me…
Please this way.
Mister Cagliostro, and what about a portrait?
Darling, wait with the portrait, let him deal with a sculpture first.
Bravo my dear! I like your taste!
Do you recognise her, Margadon?
Naturlich, your excellence! Perfect femina!
My life allowed me to watch her many times, at first she was called