course,
we wouldn't have come here.
We would have simply gone to a hotel.
To separate hotels.
- To separate rooms in the same hotel.
- You're straight?
Barney...
You should've told me
you were entertaining.
We certainly wouldn't have
interrupted anything.
- Do you want to use the bathroom?
- Certainly not.
Thank you, though. Thanks for everything.
Listen, if there's anything I can...
- Felix?
- Yes?
- That's really your name? Felix?
- Is something wrong with Felix?
It's kind of euchy sounding, isn't it?
I'm not overly familiar
with the word "euchy".
Perhaps, if you could stretch
your meager vocabulary enough...
...to eke out a definition of the term.
I mean, Felix is a good name
for a pet snail.
Thank you.
I know you're not particularly
well versed in etymology but...
You bet your ass I'm not.
The name Felix means "happy and lucky".
- That's you: A happy, lucky snail.
- Thank you, Doris.
What do you mean, Doris?
- "Doris": A helpless, hopeless hustler.
- Okay, I got two things to say to you:
One, I am not a hustler.
I'm a model and an actress.
- I've appeared in three TV commercials!
- Three. My God, that's fantastic!
You must've made another commercial
in the elevator.
- Okay.
- I didn't notice.
Maybe it was only two.
But I've appeared in pages of many
leading magazines and newspapers.
And I've been in a movie.
In between assignments, you're for rent.
I have only done that a couple of times
and then it was...
...with perfectly respectable people.
Under emergency conditions.
It's probably something
you wouldn't understand.
What is?
I may be a prostitute,
but I am not promiscuous.
You're absolutely right.
It's a subtle distinction.
I take it all back.
You're a fine example of Capitalism
at its most efficient.
You merely take natural resources...
...add the cost of labor,
and sell the product for a reasonable profit.
I didn't follow that,
but I get the feeling it was an insult.
Nope. It was just a statement
of the way things are.
Are you planning to sleep in that position?
It's a habit I got from watching TV at night.
You had two things to say to me.
I did?
Oh, yeah.
I just happen to know
what the name Doris means.
Because I looked it up.
I guess you don't know everything.
Don't know what the name Doris means,
do you, Dr. IQ?
Would you like me to tell you
what the name Doris means?
I mean, would you like to learn something?
If it will help you sleep.
The name Doris means "a Dorian woman".
And what is a Dorian woman?
Beats the shit out of me.
Very nice.
Do you want to turn out the light?
- I can't go to sleep yet.
- But I can.
You're a very fortunate person.
It's nice to be able to go to sleep
whenever you want to.
Once I do go to sleep
I go to sleep very soundly.
Like a log.
Like a corpse.
But it's very hard for me to get to sleep
once I'm awake.
I went to this shrink once who said
it was because I was afraid of dying.
I don't know. I think that...
...I got this...
Too much of this stuff called...
...adrenaline...
...that I got, you know?
Like, when I'm lying very still.
I can feel it, you know. Sort of...
...going up my body.
In all my organs.
My arms and my legs...
...like energy.
Like electricity.
Like Lon Chaney, you know?
In the Man Made Monster.
When they keep experimenting
on Lon Chaney...
...by giving him these bigger and bigger
hunks of electricity...
...until he damn near glows.
After he knocks somebody off,
they put him in the electric chair...
...where they give him
about 50,000 volts of electricity.
This makes him absolutely mad as hell.
So he busts loose
and when they try to grab him...
...they realize all he has to do
is slip 'em a goose...
...and they would fry to a crisp.
Jesus, can you imagine
what something like that must be like?
- Why are you doing this to me?
- What's the matter?
I've been up since 8:00 this morning,
yesterday morning!