been out shopping.
Nice choice.
They're right there.
Kids, look who it is! Say "hi"!
You've got a cast on your leg.
This? Think nothing of it.
Hardly matters at all.
It's just a big sock, really.
That's pretty nice of you. I feel bad.
At least, let me give you a hand.
No, thanks!
Isn't this your hotel?
No, my hotel's over there.
Have a nice holiday.
Okay. Cheerio!
This is the Piazza Navona.
Jack?
It's one of the most fabulous squares
in Rome. What's wrong?
I want to go home. I miss Jack.
We have a few more fountains to see,
then the Colosseum.
I don't want to see the Colosseum.
I want to see Jack!
Jack will always be there.
The Colosseum will always be there.
It's been there 2,000 years.
If I don't go home soon, Jack will fall
in love with Debbie, and I'll die.
Don't you want to see the Colosseum
before you die?
I hate you.
I'll meet you later at the hotel.
What about the fountains?
I'm fountained out.
Clark, let him go.
We're leaving in two days.
These are our last moments together
as a family.
Dad, we've been together every second
for the last two weeks!
By the way, I've been good.
I haven't complained or tried to escape.
Why can't you treat me like a man,
for once?
Because you're not a man.
I am, too!
I'm 15 years old, a world traveler.
I have a part-time job.
I need my independence.
If he's going, I'm going.
Why don't we give the kids
some free time?
Sure. Let them go.
They're just a couple of ingrates.
They're not ingrates, they're teenagers.
- Where's my allowance?
- Where's my passport?
Just a minute!
Let's settle down and be reasonable.
If we think about it,
we can all make some compromises.
Oh, my God!
- Take it easy.
- I don't believe this!
This is the most humiliating thing you've
ever done to me! This is the last straw.
It's not my fault they stole the camera.
You promised to erase it!
I was going to erase it.
The guy stole the camera.
This is the lowest, the worst, Clark!
Where are you going?
We're going to the Colosseum at 2:00.
I'm going back to the hotel!
We didn't vote on that.
Forget your vote!
I'm seceding from the Union...
...forming my own government,
and declaring war on you!
- She knows I didn't do it on purpose.
- I don't blame her.
Yeah, it's not even a good likeness, is it?
I guess it's just you and me, Audrey.
Buongiorno.
That's bellissimo.
Really choice?
And I think that
you are really bellissimo also.
You're not too shabby yourself.
- You speak English?
- I'm from California.
All right! I'm from Chicago.
Do you want to go scarf
some grimace proportions?
What are you doing in Rome?
Traveling with my folks.
Me, too. We won...
- Pig in a Poke. I saw the show.
- You saw the show?
You answered the Thomas Edison
question and won car wax.
- You remembered?
- Yes, I thought you were cute.
You thought I was cute?
Finally, there's one of them.
And she's alone.
Let's get the guy out of the trunk.
Too many people here.
We'll move the car first.
I'll get the keys from her.
I hate to see a beautiful woman
drink bad wine.
Then you should leave,
because I'm going to get plastered.
What is it?
Is it your husband?
That pig?
He's not a pig.
He is a pig. He is!
Thank you.
Operator, I'd like the number
for information.
I want to call the airport.
Numero, please-o.
Pan Am.
Va bene. Non si preoccupi.
Faccio io. Lasci stare.
И stata una disgrazia.
Ora rimedio io, piano piano.
Che fa?
Then I rolled on the floor
and started going...
I was completely naked.
Not completely, I had on a towel.
He promised me he'd erase that.
He promised me he'd erase it.
I'm a ruined woman.
I thought this was going to be...
...like some kind of second honeymoon.
We should have left the children
with Helga and Fritz.
I'm sorry, but I should go to my room now.
I'm going to throw up.
Let me help you.
No, no. I'll be fine, really.
I think you'll feel better if you lie down.
I have a philosophy
about