nights and weekends!"
Are you making fun of me?
Because I am not a sellout.
I didn't do it for money.
I believe in those phones!
I almost lost a cousin because
of bad wireless service.
No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think
you were great in those commercials.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Well, I do bring a certain
credibility to the role.
Are you kidding? When they shoot
you out of that cannon--
"Hang up that phone!"
-One take.
-Wow.
-So shall we read?
-Oh, yeah, sure.
Top of Act 2. This is my entrance.
You got it?
What the hell are you still doing here?
-I think you know.
-Bastard!
I am what you made me.
You know what? I could go right now.
-Go! Go!
-I can't.
Oh, I want to, Long Pause...
...but I can't.
So sorry. You're not supposed
to say "long pause."
Oh! Oh, I thought that was your
character's name. You know?
I thought you were, like, an Indian
or something, you know, with the....
No. Thank you so much for coming in.
We appreciate it. Thank you.
You don't want me to do it again?
-I could do an accent.
-No.
You know, Southern.
"I could go right now, mon!" Huh?
My God in heaven.
Joey, hang on. Leonard, can
we talk to you for a moment?
Yes? You've got to be kidding.
He can't act.
I don't care if you think he's hot.
If you want to sleep with him,
do it on your own time. This is a play.
If you insist on this...
...I will call my agent so fast...
...on a cell phone connection so clear,
he's gonna think I'm next door!
Hi, thank you so much for
whispering for my benefit.
Tell me what I did wrong. I'd love to
work on it and try it again for you.
And also, how you doing?
Give me another chance.
I really want to get better. Please?
If you want to come back today...
-...here are my notes. Ready?
-Yeah.
-You're in your head. Thinking too much.
-I really doubt that.
No, no. It's that you're not
connected with anything in your body.
There's no urgency.
The scene is a struggle.
It's a race.
Also, what you did was horizontal.
Don't be afraid to explore the vertical.
And don't learn the words.
Let the words learn you.
Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?
Hey, do you want to go
to dinner tonight?
I can't. I've got a date
with that waitress, Katie.
I know we've only gone out,
like, twice, but I don't know...
-...I have a good feeling about her.
-Oh, I hear divorce bells.
Give me your wallets,
and there won't be a problem.
-What?
-I have a gun.
Okay, relax, Phoebe.
Just stay calm.
Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet!
-All right, lady, now give me your purse.
-No.
What do you mean "no"? I knew you'd
be my death, Phoebe Buffay!
-Lowell, is that you?
-Phoebe?
-Oh, my God!
-Unbelievable! Oh, my God!
I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend,
Lowell, from the streets!
-Lowell, Ross.
-Ross, nice to meet you.
Yeah, a real pleasure.
It's been so long! Oh, so long.
-I can't believe you're still doing this.
-I know. But I quit smoking.
Good for you.
You look like you're doing well.
I guess your mugging days
are behind you.
Oh, my God.
Phoebe, you used to mug people?
Excuse me, Ross,
old friends catching up.
-How'd the audition go?
-They want to see me again, but...
...Leonard Hayes did not like me.
-What happened?
-He said I wasn't urgent enough.
Everything I did was horizontal,
and I should be more vertical.
-He said that I should think less.
-Well, so far so good.
Honey, I'm old!
What's wrong?
I am so much older than these other
interns. I can't compete with them.
So you're a little older.
Look at the positive.
You have all this life experience.
Yes, but I don't think life experience
is gonna help me with these.
Wow! It's like they're on fire!
-What are they?
-Prototype sneakers.
I need ideas on how to sell them.
Which I can't do...
...because no self-respecting
adult would ever wear these.
I'll give you $500 for them.
-What am I supposed to do?
-Come on, sneakers are easy.
-You wear them all the time.
-They're not