I see you for a sec?
-Yeah. Excuse me.
Do you realize that man has cried
in our apartment three times?
I haven't cried that many times
since I moved in!
Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive.
That's all.
Okay, okay. See, that is the problem.
He is too sensitive.
Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
No, I mean, that guy--
These are amazing!
Sandy made madeleines.
This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
What kind of a guy makes delicate
French cookies?
They're not even butch,
manly cookies with....
You know, with chunks!
Well, you know,
I don't know what to say.
I mean, I never thought of you as a guy
who needed his men to be men.
I gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you
just came in from branding cattle.
Hey, there's sensitive and
there's too sensitive.
Okay, what is too sensitive?
No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.
But it's nice. And nice is good.
And good is not bad.
Ergo, we should keep kissing.
-No, no. No.
-But....
Ergo.
Look, David, if you had never left, then...
...yeah, we'd probably still be together
right now.
But you did leave. And I'm with Mike
and I really care about him.
Goodbye.
The key works.
And, you, thanks for the face massage!
Thank you!
Did Rachel tell you we hired
a male nanny?
I think that's great!
Did she tell you he plays the recorder,
recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
-How are they?
-Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Really?
Guys do that?
-That's weird.
-Thank you!
-That's like a woman wanting to be--
-What?
-What's the end of that sentence?
-Yes. What is the end of that sentence?
A penis model!
Anyway, did you tell Chandler
that some guy from work...
...is the funniest guy you ever met?
-Yeah. So?
-Wow!
Really? Do you not know Chandler?
Is that why he's acting so weird?
He's jealous?
Oh, my God, that is crazy.
-It's not like I'm attracted to Jeffrey.
-So what?
Being funny is Chandler's thing.
Like Ross' thing is....
Science?
Academia? Being a good father?
-I can't believe he's that upset.
-You have to do some damage control.
Because he's feeling like--
What are you guys talking about?
Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
You got a man who's a nanny?
You got a "manny"?
You know, I don't mind a male nanny...
...but I do draw the line
at male wet nurse.
You are on a roll, mister!
If I'd known you guys were coming over,
I would've brought more pizza.
Okay! Okay! Stop it, you!
You stop it!
What is so funny about that?
I don't know, it's....
Just the way you say it.
I mean, you're funny. You have
that funny thing. You're a funny guy!
Did you tell her what we talked about?
So those were pity laughs?
Pity laughs?!
Honey, listen.
You have nothing to worry about
with Jeffrey.
Oh, yeah? Is he funnier than me?
Well, you're different funny.
I mean, you're more sarcastic.
Well, he does bits and impressions
and limericks.
I do limericks.
There once was a man named Chandler
whose wife made him die inside.
Honey, you know I think you're hilarious.
You know that joke
you told me last week?
The one about Jerry Lewis
and the girl with the lazy eye.
That slayed me.
Hey! I made up that joke
and told it to you.
-Not knowing when to shut up.
-Yep, that's my thing.
So how many guys have your key?
It's not as bad as it looks.
I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
Your lipstick's on his mouth.
We just happen to wear the same shade.
No, David and I did used to go out.
But years ago. And he lives in Minsk.
He's only in town for a couple days.
-Did you--?
-No. No.
-Kiss him?
-Oh, well, yeah.
Yes, but you should know,
she really likes you.
In fact, I don't think you realize
just how lucky you are, fella.
-Don't point your finger at me!
-Why?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, I'll show you
what I'm gonna do about it.
-Oh, really? Really?
-You want some of that?
Stop it! Stop it!
Before someone gets really hurt!
Here, David, you should