Maybe...me.
And you don't have to worry about
glue-sniffing with me.
Although, I do smell
the occasional Magic Marker.
Yeah. Anyway, I just....
I think I can make you happy.
-Okay, I can't do this.
-What's wrong?
Well, there is no Vikram.
Ross made him up.
Because I....
I really never have been
in a long-term relationship.
I've never lived with a guy. I've never
even celebrated an anniversary.
So....
If that's too weird for you...
...and you want to leave,
I understand.
In fact, I'll close my eyes
to make it less awkward.
You kissed me.
-You don't think I'm a total freak?
-No.
Well....
Look, can I...?
Can I think you're a little weird
and also cool...
...for telling me the truth
and also want to kiss you?
I guess so.
Can I think it's cool
that you kissed me...
...and also want to kiss you again?
And be a little concerned
about the Magic Markers?
Definitely.
This is Vikram.
Hi, honey, I'm home.
Hi.
-How was your flight?
-lt was great.
Why don't you sit down.
Get yourself comfortable.
Because I have a little...
...surprise for you.
Well, well, well.
It must be 5:00 in Tulsa...
...because it's "sex o'clock" in N.Y.C.!
Okay.
This is how much I love you.
The great white....
Honey?
Why am I watching
a bunch of sharks swimming around?
Is this--?
Is this not the good part?
Do you want me to fast-forward
to something...toothier?
No, I'm just not sure that you
got the right movie, that's all.
This is the only one
they had at our video store.
Though they did have something
called Crocodile Killers.
Or does it always have to be sharks?
Does what always have to be sharks?
Look, we can do something else.
Do you want me to
get into the tub and...thrash?
-What's going on?
-lt's okay. It's okay.
I still love you.
-Let me be a part of this.
-Let me be a part of this!
I saw what you were doing in Tulsa.
Angry sharks turn you on!
No, they don't.
Then why were you watching them
and giving yourself a treat?
Oh, my God! When you came in,
I switched the channel.
I was just watching regular porn.
Really?
Yes. Just some good, old-fashioned,
American, girl-on-girl action.
Can I tell you how happy
that makes me?
You are an amazing wife.
Really, you are amazing. You were
actually gonna do this for me?
Where do you find the strength
and the understanding for that?
I'm very, very drunk right now.
Ordinarily, I would talk to her,
but my confidence is shaken.
Did I sleep with her?
Did I not sleep with her?
Maybe this is a wake-up call. You know,
about your whole dating attitude.
You're in your 30s and you have
never been in a long-term relationship.
Here you go from woman to woman...
...meaningless experience
to meaningless experience.
Never even worrying that it doesn't
turn into something more serious.
You're right. I love my life!
I actually did sleep with her.
Subtitles by SDI Media Group
Ripped by BozoOh, hey, you guys?
I couldn't get a reservation
for the night of my birthday...
...so we'll have to do dinner
Thursday night.
-Thursday? But that's Halloween.
-So?
It's just spooky, that's all.
So is Mike coming to dinner?
No. It's my first birthday
with a boyfriend, and he has to work.
I'd get mad at him, but I think
it's too soon to show my true colors.
I would make the reservation for five.
One of us has to stay with Emma.
-Which one of us should go to dinner?
-Rachel!
Actually, I was thinking
maybe both of us could go.
Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought
into your gift.
All right, so great, we can all go now.
That is fun! Hey! You know what?
We all haven't been together,
the six of us, in such a long time.
What are you talking about?
We're together now.
Mon? Chandler's not here.
Oh, dear God.
The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
Hello. It's nice to see
our team together for the first time.
Now, before we get started,
are there any questions?
-Yes. Ken, is it?
-That's right.
Is it true the reason you're