the neighbors ate all my candy.
Mine stole my newspaper.
It's like a crime wave.
Pheebs, you got a second?
Sure.
Ever since you told me
about that bike...
...I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I mean, everyone should have
a first bike, you know? So... .
Oh, my God, Ross!
- You like it?
- I love it!
- Yeah?
- Oh, oh, God...
And I love you.
Not that way.
But the bike got you a lot closer.
Well, take it downstairs.
You know, give it a test drive.
Okay. Oh, my God.
My first bike!
Thank you for the best present
I've ever gotten.
You're welcome.
Oh, and Chandler's about to cry.
Am not.
Who is that?
Don't worry, I'm brave.
l... I am brave.
No, no, no, no!
Can you tell me who is there, please?
My name's Gary. I live upstairs.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Do you know what time it is?
- It's candy time.
My roommate says they taste
like little drops of heaven.
Oh, please.
Did you hear that?
"Little drops of heaven. "
Four a.m.
So can I get some candy?
I am sorry, but some of us
have to get up early and go to work.
He does not know
that I am not "some of us. "
I'm sorry, but I'll put some out
in the morning.
Okay, I'll swing by later.
You live in this building?
Seems like I'd remember you.
Night, Gar.
So did you read your evaluation yet?
No, it was marked "confidential. "
I just sent it to human resources.
Please, you're kidding, right?
I wrote that one as a joke for you.
A joke they would appreciate?
I'm thinking, no.
- What did you say?
- I said you were a good kisser...
...and that I liked your
teeny, tiny tushy.
No, not my tushy.
It gets worse.
About your initiative, I wrote:
"He was able to unhook my bra
with minimal supervision. "
Under problems with performance,
I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not. "
And then... And then I drew
a little smiley face.
And then a small pornographic sketch.
That is so sweet of you
to get Phoebe that bike.
When I heard the story,
I almost cried.
Almost cried, huh?
Hear that, Chandler? "Almost" cried.
Hey, you cry every time
somebody talks about Titanic. 
Those two had only each other.
She really likes it, huh?
Oh, yeah. I saw her
walking it down the street.
She had these flowers in the basket.
It was so cute.
I saw her this morning,
walking it by the park.
Wait, she was walking the bike?
Both times?
- Hey, Pheebs.
- Oh, hi!
- Hey, so you enjoying the bike?
- Oh, uh-huh, so much.
Pheebs, you do know how
to ride a bike, don't you?
Of course.
Can we see you ride it?
Okay.
See?
I told you not to get
involved with your assistant.
There's no such thing as a secret
when it comes to affairs.
Did you hear that, Chandler?
No such thing.
What happened? I'm just eating candy.
Maybe it's not that bad. They might
not take it the way I meant it.
Absolutely, you know?
Because "tushy" can mean both ass...
...and good worker.
I just gotta get the thing back.
Rach? That sketch you mentioned?
Might it have looked
a little like this?
Oh, my God, Joey!
- What is the matter with you?
- God!
This little talent came in handy
before I could afford porn.
Hi, I'm sorry. I know it's
after hours, but I really need candy.
I'm sorry, I can't help you.
See? Rules are rules.
Please, I have people coming
from out of town today.
- I told them all about your candy.
- You're kidding.
Out-of-towners, huh?
What did you tell them?
I told them your candy
was absolutely indescribable.
Some people have said it's "little
drops of heaven. " But whatever.
- Please, can't you help me out?
- Hey, Chandler, do we know that lady?
Isn't she the woman who lives
below you and has sex really loud?
All right, I'll do it just this once.
- But you can't tell anyone.
- Please, just give it to me.
Yeah, that's her.
- Thank you.
- Unbelievable!
I can't believe that sign didn't work.
You know what would work?
Stop making candy.
But they like it.
You mean they like you.
Maybe.
Is that why you became a chef,
so people would