father?
Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born.
We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep,
and they brought you in and gave you to me.
You were this ugly little red thing,
and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist.
And you squeezed it, so tight.
And that's when I knew.
So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
No, we can go to Williamsburg.
Eat your fish.
Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
Okay, coming!
- Hi, come on in.
- Hey.
- Hi, Geoffrey.
- Hi.
Ah here, we brought wine.
Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine, so how could we resist?
Oh, that's great. Look at that.
So, Monica, how's the ankle?
It's uh...
Well, why don't you tell them?
After all it, is your ankle.
You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um
Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses
STAT!
Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are?
I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
It will not be fine.
We'll get in trouble.
Oh, Monica!Would you stop being such a wuss?
A wuss?
Excuse me for living in the real world, okay?
So?
- So... they sss-still seem normal.
- That's because they are.
okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out..Women we meet at the hospital It turns into..
Willya relax?Look around.
No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners,they're fine. Go like this.
I said we are not going to do it, okay?
Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.
I am not a baby!
- You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we- Sure, every time, you're such a princess
- You know what?
- What?
- You know what?
- What!?
- You know what?
- What!!?
Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
Hello! Here we go!
This is a great place.
How long have you lived here?
Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Yeah...see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Really?
Yeah Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me.
Why don't you try the hummus?
So, Monica, what do you do?
Aahh, I'm a chef at a restaurant uptown.
Good for you.
Yeah it is,
Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
This hummus is great.
God bless the chickpea.
Oh, god, I am so spoiled.
That's it!
And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
I used to wet my bed.
I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
We both do that!
Monica and Rachel's apartment.
Err yeh, aayah, yeh,
just one second  ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Hi, Dad.
No, no, it's me.
li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now,
um, but there's something, um there's something that I've been meaning to tell you
Would you excuse me for a second?
Remember back in freshman year?
Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
Daddy Daddy...
Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin?
His father tried to put you out of business!
...dead!
Ross, he's got the remote again.
Good.
Maybe he can switch it back.
Maybe not.
Hello?
Um, yeah, uh, Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
It's the woman from the hospital admissions office.
She says there's a problem with the form.
Oh, god, oh god, Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?
I don't know!
Why don't you just explain?  What do they want?  Find out what they want!
Okay  no, you do it.
Hello, this is MonicaYeah???Oh...
Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.Thank you.
What?
We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
Ohhh  Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it.
Thank you.
- Okay, let me just change.
- Yes.
- Hey.
- Hey!
Hi.
Trouble?
Your sister stood me up the other night.
Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
Well did you try calling her?
I've been