What's so funny?
I thought you'd never ask.
Do you understand
why you're here, young man?
OK, then.
I'd like for you to tell me...
a little about yourself,
where you grew up...
what made you
want to kill yourself...
how you feel now.
I was born in...
in Queens.
Me and my parents
moved to Phoenix...
when I was a kid.
I hated it.
When I was 16...
my father was killed
in a car accident...
just outside oftown.
My mother...
she'd been having
these affairs...
and my father knew.
Anyway, she felt so guilty...
she decided to become a nun.
So, within three weeks
of my father's death...
she was in a convent
somewhere in Mexico.
And there I was.
I didn't know where to go.
I didn't know what to do.
So, one day, I was...
Looking at this magazine...
And there was a centerfold.
And I knew she wouldn't
go for me the way that I was...
you know, so l...
I'd been reading a book...
this book...and...
I decided to become Don Juan.
So...l called up the magazine.
They wouldn't help me.
They wouldn't give me
any information, so...
I was about to give up, and...
one day, I reached this woman
who worked there.
I think she was
a temp or something...
but...
the woman took pity on me...
and she gave me
the girI's number...
so I called her up.
I said that we were
meant to be together...
and she called me a creep,
and then she hung up.
I just decided
that my life was over...
so I was going to kill myself...
or at least I was going
to make people believe...
that I would kill myself...
so I could get some
attention or something.
I never really had any
intention of killing myself.
Thank you.
This has been very helpful.
Someone will show you
back to your room now.
Doctors...
this seems like a perfectly
normal kid to me.
I've had a couple
centerfold fantasies myself...
and I'm certainly
not going to commit him...
to a mental institution
for his.
Your Honor,
l--l think his behavior--
Let him go.
Thank you very much, Judge.
As his doctor,
l concur with your views.
I've spent more time
with him than you have!
I'll call you later,
and thank God for medication.
-Good-bye, Bill.
-Good-bye, sweetie.
Your Honor, listen--
he's taking my patient!
Please! Bill! Nurse!
As Head ofthe hospital,
let me speak.
My name is
Don Octavio del Flores.
I am the world's greatest
psychiatrist.
I have cured
over a thousand patients.
Their faces
linger in my memory...
like summer days...
but none more so
than Don Juan DeMarco.
And so it was not so insane...
that we all found ourselves
on an airplane...
flying to the island of Eros.
lt was like the Garden
before the fall.
Everything seemed possible.
And how does our fable end?
His Doсa Ana, his centerfold...
was she waiting all eternity
on the beach...
for him to return
as they had promised each other?
Why not?
Sadly, I must report...
that the last patient
l ever treated...
the great lover,
Don Juan DeMarco...
suffered from a romanticism...
which was
completely incurable...
and even worse...
highly contagious.