this up.
Clear this up?
What are you doing? He tried...
I know, but he's supposed to be
a really good carpenter.
-He tried to attack me.
-He just thought you were
good-lookin' wool...
an attractive woman.
-He didn't know who you were.
-I don't know who you are.
Look, uh...
do you know how hard it is to find
a really good carpenter?
Besides, I think
he's got a brother who's a plumber.
-Really? A brother who's a plumber?
-I think so.
-Do you think I should sleep with him?
-Maybe just this once.
I think I'm going to start dinner.
The house
is gonna be great.
Great.
Great!
-Hey, I'm sorry about that...
-Oh, it's all right.
You'll have plenty
of opportunities to make it up to us.
You know, usually a woman
calls a carpenter...
she's lookin' for
the old "hammer and nail."
-And I don't mean...
-Yeah, I know what you mean.
Hey, buddy,
did you really buy this house?
Yes, I did.
Now,
what was over there?
The stairs. It began right there
and it curved all the way...
Oh, my God!
No, don't!
What's the matter?
I was just
lighting the oven.
Just lighting... You could've
been killed! We could've all died!
Oh, well,
thank you very much.
I'm not completely helpless
in the kitchen.
I do know how
to light an oven.
Well, yeah, but...
-You mean this thing works?
-So far, so good.
Well, it's amazing.
What about the, uh...
-What do you call these?
-The burners.
-I haven't tried them yet.
-Maybe we shouldn't press our luck.
-Wanna see the refrigerator?
-No.
Water?
No water.
We've got gas and electricity, though.
That's two out of three.
Art's calling his brother.
Oh, good news.
You're not gonna have
to sleep with him.
Just a little dinner,
some dancing.
-How long do you think all that'll take?
-Two weeks.
Really? That's all?
When do you think you could start?
Just as soon
as your cheque clears.
Couldn't you at least hang the door?
I've got enough cash for that.
Haven't got
the right materials.
Wood's rotten.
Won't hold a screw.
Which reminds me:
I'm late for my next job.
-If you know what I mean.
- # I gotta be me #
-# I gotta be me #
-Yeah, I know what you mean.
# What else can I be ##
In spite of
all the problems...
in spite of the prospect of indentured
servitude for the rest of my life...
in debt beyond
my wildest dreams...
I love the house.
So do I.
And I love you.
Life is good.
Prostate trouble?
Well, that was fast.
We have very weak trees.
"Weak trees"?
I guess that's the door.
Hurry, don't let it ring again.
Wait!
-You Fielding?
-Right!
My brother Art
recommended you.
-I don't usually take jobs in this area.
-I'm glad you can make an exception.
-Let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay?
-I'm sorry.
-Where should we start?
-Well, you could offer me a drink.
I don't know
where my manners are.
Here it is, nearly 11:30.
You must be parched.
What? Wait a minute! We haven't even
talked about the plumbing yet!
And we're not going to,
not with your attitude.
Oh, saving the good scotch
for the company, are we?
No wonder you've been turned down
by every plumber in the valley.
-That's not true!
-Don't make it worse by lying.
I'm not lying!
I haven't tried everybody yet.
Please,
you gotta help me!
I don't know.
Write me a cheque quick,
before I come to my senses. Five grand.
-Five grand... Five thousand dollars?
-That's just a deposit.
You didn't even...
Well...
I'm not tryin' to tell you your business,
but you haven't even looked at my pipes.
I looked at them three years ago.
You figure they've improved with age?
# Me #
# I gotta be me #
# What else can I be
but what I am ##
Prep school.
Yale.
Phi Beta Kappa.
Four years of law school,
law review.
Are you all right?
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
The secret is not to,
uh, look down.
Oh, why did you
say that?
Look down?
It's a secret.
I was fine