redneck newspaper in New Zealand? Pipe down and I'll tell you. I've been getting the paper and checking the classifieds, looking at cars for sale, so as of yesterday, for sale in this town, some dude is selling a stock 1970 Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine and a white paint job. And you wanna buy it? Kim, I may be stupid, but I'm not bloody stupid. I wanna say I wanna buy it so he'll let me test-drive it. A 1970 Dodge Challenger with a white paint job? Oh, uh, Kowalski! Kowalski from Vanishing Point. Mate, it's a fucking classic! If I can get this guy to let me drive it without him, I will blow the doors off that bitch. What's Vanishing Point? What's Vanishing Point? Abs, I'm supposed to be the illiterate one. It's just one of the best American movies ever made. Actually, Zoл, most girls wouldn't know Vanishing Point. Excuse me. Most girls? What the fuck are you two? Yeah, well, we're gearheads. Of course we watched it. Y'all grew up watching that Pretty in Pink shit. Oh, I liked Pretty in Pink. What, so you didn't watch John Hughes movies? Of course I did. I'm a girl. But I also watched car shit, too... Vanishing Point. Dirty Mary Crazy Larry. - Gone in 60 Seconds... - Oh... The real one, not that Angelina Jolie bullshit. We have an outdoor theater in Auckland that plays Vanishing Point. Big Wednesday. all the classics. What do you horny gals want? Yeah, you got a 1970 Dodge Challenger for sale? Right up here, ladies. This shit is off the fuckin' hook! Fuckin' legendary, mate. Sweet ass. Well, if you 'll excuse me, I'd like to have a word with my associate. You ladies take your time. What are you waiting for? Ask him to let you drive it by yourself. I intend to, but first I need to ask you something. What? If he lets us take it out on our own, I wanna play Ship's Mast. - Oh, hell, no! - Keep it down! Ain't no way I'm doing Ship's Mast. - For Chrissakes... - Don't blaspheme. Sorry. Now, what did you say after the last time? - Look, I know what I said. - What did you say? - I know I said we shouldn't... - No. You didn't say we shouldn't. You said we ain't ever gonna do that again. - But... - But, my ass! You said not only are we never gonna play Ship's Mast again, but you also said if you ever do what you trying to do now, to not only refuse, but that I had permission to physically restrain your ass if necessary. Now, did you or did you not say that? No, no, no. Answer the question, motherfucker. - Did you or did you not say that? - Yes, I said that. - However... - Whatever with your "however." Look, I know I said it, and I know I meant it... Damn skippy you meant it! But when I said it, I didn't mean in America! - Oh, nigga, please. - For real. Really. I meant we should never play Ship's Mast again in New Zealand or Australia. You are such a liar! I know what I said, but when I said it I didn't know I'd ever come to America, and if I had of known I was gonna come to America, had the opportunity to play Ship's Mast on the Vanishing Point Challenger... I would have added a "however." Right? Okay, oddly enough, I actually understood that. However, just because you talked yourself into some stupid shit doesn't mean I have lost my goddamn mind. You need two people to play Ship's Mast, and I ain't playing. I'll be your best friend. I don't need me no best friend lives on the other side of Planet Earth. I'll crack your back. You 'll crack it anyway. Well, of course I'll crack it anyway. But now, while I'm here, I'll be your back-cracking slave. Whenever you want it, you 've got it. You don't even have to ask. You just order me to do it, just be like, "Bitch, get over here and get busy." You crack my back, give me foot massages, and after a shower, you moisturize my butt. Deal. We're gonna see if this guy'll let us take ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Большой автобус на английском - текст Ракетчик на английском - текст Приключения Эвоков на английском - текст Гарфилд: История двух кошечек на английском - текст Лень на английском |