how many rocks
and broken bottles and rats in it,
and if I fell in that fucking thing,
I probably would have broken my neck.
So I am yelling at her:
"Zoл, you almost killed me!"
So we laugh about it
and walk a little further,
and Zoл starts fuckin' around.
And... bam! ...if she doesn't fall
in the fucking ditch!
Nice.
Thank you. Yep. Thank you.
I remember taking a step
and looking down,
just as I'm thinking, "There's that ditch
Abbie was talking about."
Bam! I'm in the fucking ditch, you know.
What happened?
What, with Zoл, the cat?
Nothing.
If I fell in that fuckin' thing, they would
have had to helicopter me out of there.
Zoл just lands on her feet.
But then later I started feeling
a little bad about myself...
Zoл falls in the ditch and it's nothing.
We're laughing about it.
If I fell in that fucking thing,
I probably would have been paralyzed.
Oh, honey, you can't think like that.
We all have our individual talents,
and that just happens to be one of Zoл's.
Well, physically speaking,
Zoл is amazing.
I mean, agility, reflexes, nimbleness?
There's few human beings that can fuck
with Zoл on that front.
Kim, I like you too.
Having said that, before you get
too envious of Zoл's prowess,
you 're missing the most
important part of that story.
You didn't fall in the ditch.
Zoл did.
Zoл even knew there was a ditch there
because you told her,
and she still fell in.
So Lee's right.
We all have our talents.
Hey, I resemble that remark.
So Kim, you still pack a Roscoe?
Check it out, bitch.
- Ooh, nice one, mate.
- I know this.
What's a Roscoe?
Roscoe's a pistol.
- You carry a gun?
- Uh-huh.
You have a license to carry?
Yeah, when I became a Secret Service
agent, they gave me a license.
Oh, I didn't know you were...
Okay, I didn't say it, all right?
Stop looking at me. God.
Did you know Kim carried a gun?
Yes. Now, do I approve? No.
Do I know? Yes.
Look, I don't know what
futuristic utopia you live in,
but the world I live in,
a bitch need a gun.
You can't get around the fact
that people who carry guns
tend to get shot
more than people who don't.
And you can't get around the fact
that if I go down to the laundry room
at midnight enough times,
I might get my ass raped.
Don't do your laundry at midnight.
Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry
whenever the fuck I want to.
There are other things you can carry
other than a gun. Pepper spray.
Uh, motherfucker trying to rape me,
I don't want to give him a skin rash.
I wanna shut that nigga down!
How about a knife, at least?
Yeah, you know what happens
to motherfuckers carry knives?
They get shot!
If I ever become a famous actress,
I won't carry a gun.
I'll hire me a do-dirt nigga and he'll
carry the gun, and when shit goes down,
I'll sit back and laugh,
but until that day, it's Wild West.
So Zoл, you thought about
what you want to do first?
It just so happens
I know exactly what I want to do.
Oh, really?
And what would that be?
To me, there's no point in being in America
unless you can drive a Detroit muscle car.
I wanna drive a Dodge Challenger...
fuck me swinging, balls out.
Well, I guess we
could talk to Transpo,
but does it have to be
a Dodge Challenger?
Not just that. It has to be a 1970
Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine.
How in the fuck
do you expect to do that?
No worries, mate.
I've got it all worked out.
When I knew I was coming here,
I went online and found out
that the local paper here in Tennessee
is the Lebanon News Sentinel.
- So back home...
- I'm sorry, where's home? Australia?
What do you mean by that, mate?
Zoл's from New Zealand,
and you never...
I repeat, never...
call a Kiwi an Aussie.
That is, unless
you want your ass kicked.
I'm so sorry. I will nev...
Oh, it's okay.
We're just taking the piss
out of you, mate.
Auckland, to answer your question.
Anyway, I subscribed
to the local paper a month ago.
Why the fuck you want a local