it`s not even Saturday night.
Alice, you drive me crazy.
Has Daddy`s little girl
been naughty tonight?
George?
Who you talking to?
How dare you! Are you crazy?
Did you think
you were gonna get away with it?
That`s how you do it!
l`ll put a stop to that.
You`ve ruined my life!
You`ve ruined my furniture!
You`ve ruined my clothes!
My family likes you
more than they like me.
Why? All you do is drool and shed and eat.
You`re never getting
out of there again. Never!
Do we understand each other?
Hey, little buddy. How ya doin`?
Thank you. Good work.
-Vernon!
-Come on, Harvey.
-Can l tell you something?
-What?
-l don`t like it when you tease the dogs.
-Are you some kind of animal lover?
We`ve developed
a new type of ammunition.
lt explodes on contact.
We`d like you to use
this revolver for the tests.
We want to know the extent
of the damage at close range.
You wanna know how messy it is.
l presume you can get dogs
with big skulls for the tests.
Newfoundlands, Great Danes, St. Bernards.
Large dogs are difficult to come by...
...harder to manage.
l`m sure we`ll be able to handle it.
-Mr. Newton?
-Yes.
l`m Dr. Varnick. This must be Beethoven.
He`s a magnificent animal. Magnificent!
Magnificent!
-ln for his shots?
-That`s right.
He`ll be a little groggy this evening.
That`ll be nice.
Perhaps you should leave him overnight
for observation.
-l`d be happy to.
-Dad!
lt`s just a shot. He`ll be okay.
Let`s take him home.
He`s scared and wants to go home.
l wonder if l might have a word
with you privately.
Sure.
Good dog.
Take good care of these nice people.
They aren`t gonna hurt Beethoven,
are they?
Nothing could hurt Beethoven.
Please, sit down.
Mr. Newton, have you....
Have you noticed anything strange
about your dog lately?
You know, l mean, he`s destroyed my life.
l wish l was kidding.
That`s very funny.
St. Bernards have been heavily over-bred.
There`s been quite a bit written
about certain behavioral problems.
What kind of problems?
l don`t know how to say this, but l`ve had
to put down several over the past months.
They have a tendency to turn on people...
...attack without provocation.
l only mention this
because you have children.
Good boy!
George, come on.
Beethoven isn`t even remotely dangerous.
He`d never hurt the kids.
He might take a bite out of you, though.
First snarl, first any kind of weirdness
and he`s gone.
Weirdness? What should l watch for,
his wearing my clothes around the house?
Good boy!
You guys are gonna love Devonia.
l don`t need a baby-sitter.
How come you gotta
go back to work, anyway?
There`s no point of us
going into this with a bad attitude.
Hi there, you little cutie!
Don`t you worry about a thing.
We`re gonna get along great. Right, kids?
l`ll be back before dinner,
so it`s not that long.
We`re gonna do neat stuff.
l was hopin` we could sing a tune together.
You like music?
What kind of music?
How about Herb Alpert
and the Tijuana Brass? Oh, sorry.
l am a nut for the disco beat!
Okay, kids, be good.
-You`ve had some time to think and--
-And we made our decision.
We wanna get in bed
with Newton Auto Air Fresheners.
Excellent! That`s just great!
-Thank you very much.
-As quickly as possible.
We can meet our lawyers today
and have the papers drawn up.
That`s excellent!
Let us take you out to dinner.
Are there any good restaurants
in this burg?
Restaurants. What?
-Why don`t you come to our house?
-We`ll barbecue.
Barbecue! Let`s live dangerously!
Well, our food may not be great,
but it`s not dangerous.
l hope it`s better than this espresso.
Help!
Help, somebody!
l love you, too.
Thanks, Beethoven. You saved my life.
But you better go home now.
Mom said to stay in the backyard.
You kids might be interested to know
that l am a performer...
...Saturday nights at the Padded Zebra.
Gosh! Emily`s in the pool!
The pool?
-Emily!
-What are you doing in the pool?
Get out this