do it.
Yeah. I've heard that about you.
So?
You wanna do it?
Yeah. Yes.
- You'll do it?
- Yes. Yes!
Yes.
You'll do it?
You'll do the play?
Lvan, she'll do the play!
You were wonderful!
You're wonderful.
He's miserable, his wife is sleeping
with an accountant.
It's a celebration! We got a star!
- I gotta get the Dickers.
- Go ahead.
Well, life is certainly great when
it works out, isn't it?
- Would you like to make a toast?
- Oh, yeah.
For the play, for you and me.
Ms. Detroit, could I call you Alice?
Alice, why do you take aspirin
with champagne?
Oh, champagne gives me a headache.
Geraldo, you're bagging garbage.
I bagged the garbage two days
in a row now!
Good. You're an expert, then.
Iggy, you're washing.
Debbie, you're drying.
- Spike?
- Eating.
Mommy was ironing my lavender dress.
She must have taken it with her.
- So wear another dress.
- That's the only dress that fits.
So wear one that doesn't fit.
Okay, we had breakfast, we're washing
dishes, we're bagging garbage.
- We're surviving, right?
Not me.
Yeah, we're doing beautifully. You
wanna clean the oatmeal out of this...
...or should I just buy
another one for tomorrow?
Can I ask you something?
What?
Yeah.
How come you never talk about your
mother, you never bring up her name?
- It's a little weird.
- We talk about her.
- Yeah, lots.
- Just not in front of you...
...because it gets you crazy.
- Oh, I see.
Hey.
You figure she's moved out for good?
No. Absolutely not.
When she left my father,
it was for good.
Yeah, my father too. Same thing.
Same for us when she left our father.
Old Gloria's got one undeniable
goddamn record, Pop.
You can't knock her on consistency.
- Well, those other times were different.
- Why?
Isn't it time to hit the subway?
- We're just trying to protect you.
- I know, I know.
I haven't understood
one word of your babbling.
She's wrong. Do you agree?
Too mature.
I cut the goddamn line.
Just take it easy, will you?
Thank you.
Albie?
Albie!
You're keeping an old man waiting.
- I just have to...
- l've been waiting for 45 years.
We'll get to you next. That was
very special, Grunella, really.
We'll call your agent.
Thank you. Really.
- Where the hell is Albie?
- Who is Albie?
- Albie. The stage manager, Albie.
- The stage manager is Seth Shapiro.
- Seth.
- He's over there. What is the matter?
Don't bug me. Will you just
give me a break?
- I told you about the audition pages.
- Ivбn! Lvan!
Who the hell is Albie?
You wanna know who Albie is,
Morris?
I'm gonna tell you.
You should know.
Albie is goddamn Gloria's
hair cutter at Sassoon's.
And he has told me everything.
Everything.
How she met Kotzwinkle...
...where, when, why, how often.
About their little
work weekends in Armonk...
...about his goddamn beach shack
in Gloucester...
...about his simpatico eyes...
...about his...
...laid-back, mellow,
goddamn constant smile!
That's why the hairdo.
- Spying on your wife.
- Yes, that's exactly why the hairdo.
This has not been pretty, Morris.
Believe me when I tell you that.
Playwright.
Coke, speed, smack.
I got it to sell.
- Loose J's, loose K's, I got it to sell.
- Look, my kid's in the business.
- But I don't wanna run.
- Iggy, l'm depressed. I need company.
Goddamn. All you want me
around for is company.
You want money for Rolling Stones
this weekend?
Have you no shame? I absolutely refuse
to go running with you. Period.
Is Gloria taking the kids?
No, they're going back
to their fathers. They want them back.
We're not set up for five kids
and no Gloria. I couldn't handle that.
- I thought Geraldo's father was in Spain.
- He is. Watch it.
- God, I hate this.
- Don't complain. It depresses me.
So do we keep Geraldo?
- Why? Don't like him?
I'm crazy about him.
So let's keep him.
- Good.
What's with all this plastic?
What, are we having
an indoor picnic?
Gloria needed some stuff for her
place. I wouldn't make