entitled the outlaw,
And I can state categorically
That I have never seen anything
quite so unacceptable
As the shots of the mammaries
of the character named Rio.
For almost half the picture,
the girl's mammaries,
Which are quite large
and...Prominent,
Are shockingly uncovered.
For this reason,
I have concluded
The picture appeals
only to prurient interest
And should be denied
The motion picture association's
seal of approval.
Really, Mr. Hughes.
Thank you, Mr. Breen.
Mr. Hughes.
Thank you,
Mr. Chairman.
Mr. Breen.
It's good to see you again,
I haven't seen you all
Since that situation with
all the violence in Scarface.
Situation here
seems to revolve around
Miss Russell's mammaries.
Mr. Breen feels that they
are too prominent, yes?
More prominent than
other mammaries
Have been up on the screen?
Well...I hope to dispel
that notion.
Jean Harlow.
Ann Sheridan.
Irene Dunne.
Claudette Colbert.
Rita Hayworth.
Betty Grable.
And the lovely
miss Jane Russell.
Now, all these shots,
save for miss Russell,
Were enlarged from pictures
that received
Mr. Breen's seal of approval.
Now, as you've probably
noticed by now,
They all contain...Mammaries.
I will ask my associate
to join me now.
May I introduce Dr. Ludlow
Branson of Columbia University.
Dr. Branson...
Is a mathematician
of some note.
Yes.
And he will now demonstrate
That in fact miss Russell's
mammaries are no more prominent
Than any of these
other fine ladies'.
Doctor.
Doctor?
You forgot
your calipers.
Oh!
Er...Gentlemen...
Mr. Hughes.
Uh...
Let us commence by calling this
Mammary exhibit number one.
Now, you'll see that the length
of the actual cleavage...
[clears throat]
If I may...
Is...Five inches
and a quarter.
Now, if we move
to mammary exhibit...
Newscaster:
Dateline: Hollywoodland.
Movie tycoon Howard Hughes
Must have the greatest job
in the land.
Each and every night,
The lucky guy has to escort
a different beautiful woman
To a different dazzling event.
The TWA king always
talks up his airline
As he escorts a succession...
[band playing
wild, festive song]
[crowd applauding]
Emcee:
The Hercules, 
ladies and gentlemen.
The Hercules.
A plane, a boat,
a flying city.
Now, don't forget,
every Bill comes to me.
They don't pay for anything.
Let those men decide whether
or not to fund the plane,
So I need them real happy.
You do what it takes.
You betcha, boss.
How 'bout the girls? How are
they in the bomb department?
Well, let's put it this way.
It'll be a regular boob buffet.
I don't think the gentlemen
from the air corps
Will have any trouble
scoring tonight.
Emcee:
And inside, 700 brave
American soldiers,
A dozen Sherman tanks,
All winging their way
over the Atlantic,
Free from the threat
of the u-boats below.
Could Jules Verne himself
Have ever imagined
anything so magnificent?
Could he have imagined
her mammoth wingspan,
Longer than a football field?
Don't you see
how this demeans me?
Since when do you care
about the scandal rags?
Every time there's a picture
of you with another woman,
It's like a slap
in the face.
Don't you understand that?
Well, that's overstating it
just-- just a bit.
Joan Crawford, Ginger Rogers,
Linda Darnell, Joan Fontaine!
And now Bette Davis,
for God's sake.
Look...They're Cracker Jack
candy, honey.
They don't mean
anything to me.
Oh, very nice.
Well, you're the one
that said
That all men are predators,
right?
I mean, it's all
in Darwin, remember?
And am I to expect this behavior
to continue after the wedding?
What is really
bothering you, Kate?
Is it the women
or the publicity, huh?
Can't you eat ice cream
from a bowl
Like everyone else in the world?
[phone ringing]
Don'