brought over a few
things for you to fix.
This has fur
stuck in it.
I don't know how
that happened.
What happened
to this ?
I tried
to puree a rock.
It didn't work.
[ Raquel ]
jake ?
Are you
talking to someone ?
No, it's
just the tv.
Welcome to
"monday night football."
It's saturday !
Live, from new york,
it's "saturday --"
I'm shutting
it off.
Click !
Can you fix
all this stuff ?
My motto is
"if i can't fix it,
it ain't broken."
My motto is
"i broke it."
My dad's motto is
"i broke into it."
Ha-Ha.You're pretty
funny for a delinquent.
I love this
male bonding.
Let's go out back and
throw a cat on the barbie.
Just a thought.
Hi, lynn.
Willie, is this
your tape recorder ?
Gee, i'm not sure.
[ Alf ]
my sister is so fat ...
She gets her legs waxed
at the car wash.
Ha-Ha.
Yes, that's ours.
Who's the comedian ?
Ever heard of
jay leno ?
No.
It's jay leno.
Oh.
I found this
in jake's room.
The kid's a crook.
I was
fixing it !
He's a liar,
too.
Your father would
be so ashamed.
It's a good thing
he's in jail.
Pssst.
I don't know
what to say.
Pssst !
What made
you do it ?
Could you excuse me,
just for a moment ?
I invented
a new sport --
Biscuit ball.
What do
you want ?
You're wrong
about jake.
He's a
good kid.
He stole that
tape recorder.
He was fixing it.
He could
fix anything.
How do you
know that ?
Has he seen you ?
Yeah.
But he won't
tell anyone.
Besides, he's a hoodlum.
Who'd believe him ?
Trevor, for one.
Jake won't
tell trevor.
I physically
intimidated him.
You ?
Hsssss !
Don't do that.
Hsssss !
Don't !
Hsssss !
Oh, stop it.
What do you mean,
he can fix anything ?
Look at the coffee maker.
Hsssss !
What happened
to the jello ?
Jake cleaned
it all out !
So much for my
"mr. Jello" machine.
Stay here.
Hsssss !
Jake, i owe you
an apology.
Apology ?
That biscuit
caused brain
damage ?
He really was fixing
the tape recorder.
I just
found out from ...
Mom.
Right.
Bet you feel
like a real jerk.
Yeah.
Listen, kid,
i'm real sorry.
Am i still going
to bed without supper ?
Of course not.
Rats !
You know, trevor,
It seems this young man
is a little "mr. Fix-It."
"Little
mr. Fix-It."
How cute.
You want me,
don't you ?
You should get him
some tools of his own.
He could fix things
at your house.
Yeah.
Could you fix our
christmas lights ?
They stopped
blinking in june.
Sure.I could even fix
your outdoor p.A. System.
Oh, please don't.
Willie, can we borrow
some of your tools ?
Sure, they're
in your garage.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, jake.
Good bye.
Bye.
Tell jay leno
i said "hi."
Everybody knows this
jay leno, except me.
What a
strange family.
Heh !
Now, what
do you want ?
Nothing.I was just doing the
heimlich maneuver on myself.
Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
Where is that ?
Ah !
That piece
doesn't fit there.
Yes, it does.
Voil?
Mickey's eye
is in his nose.
Now he can see
what he smells.
Mr. Ochmonek found
his peat moss.
It was in his dining room
behind the rock salt.
Did jake fix
your hair dryer ?
Yeah, he's busy
fixing everything.
[ Trevor ]
testing, testing.
Is this thing on ?
Captions performed by
captions, inc.Los angeles, ca
Captions copyrighted
by alien productions.
All rights reserved.What happened to
your football game ?
The game was called
on account of alf.
First, he sat
on the sidelines
and spat into
his helmet.
Then he said we
weren't playing right.
He sent brian on a
very complicated
pass pattern --
Slant left,
button hook,
Hop up & down,
put on a disguise,
Dig a hole,
Stay in it until
groundhog's day,
Then do the hokey pokey
and turn myself around.
Yeah, turn
yourself around.
That would fake out
the other team.
We're going to watch
the game on tv.
We'll get a
better work out.
Hut-Hut ...
Post pattern,no !
Willie.
Heads up !
[