That's where
i ate.
You ate dinner ?
Oh, yeah.
Don't hold dinner.
He'll eat at the mall.
Thank you, again.
Why did he stop
by the mall ?
He didn't say.
To buy shoes.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot.
Hey, the
debate's
starting.
Good evening.
Tonight the candidates
face the issues, and me.
I'm john mclaughlin.
On my right, gill hossenfeffer,
senator from wyoming.
On my left, nathan peal,
congressman from oregon.
I can see hossenfeffer's
pale white shins.
I never realized
how unappealing ...
The human leg
can be.
You're in
the oval office.
The red phone rings.
Soviet missiles are heading
for the white house.
Do you push
the button ?
[ Alf ]
can i vote for the
guy in the middle ?
In answer to
your question --
As joe biden once said,
"we have nothing to fear
but fear itself."
By arming ourselves
against the impossible,
We are preventing
the unthinkable ...
From becoming
the inevitable.
Double-Talk.
Preventing war
is easy.
Just tell the people
who are mad at each other,
To kiss and make up.
International politics
is very complex.
The soviets want peace
and so do we.
But we're
separated by ...
History, ideology,
economic philosophy ...
You sound just like
those windbags.
No, i don't.
The soviets want peace
and so do we,
But we're separated
by history,
Ideology,
economic philosophy --
Wow !
Kate, maybe you should
become president.
Are you decent ?
Would it matter ?
Not to me.
Where's kate ?
Oh, there
you are.
With that light
behind you,
I could see
your silhouette.
You look ...
Alf !
What ?
I was gonna say you
look like an angel.
Thank you.
A naked angel.
What do you want ?
I keep thinking
about the debate.
I noticed those politicians
never give simple answers.
That's because the issues
are so complicated.
I think the voters would like
answers they could understand.
Like your answer to
unemployment --
Hire the jobless to give
you piggy-Back rides.
If i can
restore a man's dignity
by climbing on his back,
I say go for it.
You can't understand
our democratic process ...
Because you're not looking
at the big picture.
The big picture
over the piano ?
No.By big picture,
i mean --
Because i can look at that,
if i stand on the piano.
"Big picture" means --
It's all right.
If alf wants to look
at the big picture
over the piano,
Let him.
I am going to bed.
Thank you, kate.
Just don't get any fur
between the keys.
All right, but don't
lock your door.
I may have some more
political questions for you.
He took the key.
At least mr. Ed stayed
in the barn at night.
Ms. Tanner, our environment
is becoming endangered,
Much like
the liberal.
What would you
do about it ?
Well, my
environmental plan ...
Includes tax incentives
to the industrial sector ...
To encourage factory
modernization, as well as --
[ Alf ]
aw, lunch meat !
Alf !
Candidate alf.
Your solution
to pollution ?
[ Rapping ]
my solution to pollution
will help your constitution.
So send a contribution,
and start the revolution.
Uh huh, uh huh.
Could we please
get serious ?
Quiet !
Rap master alf
is on a roll.
Thanks, man.
Weiner-On-A-Stick ?
My pleasure.
Your answer ?
To get rid of pollution,
Tie big balloons on
all the smokestacks ...
To catch the dirty air.
[ Applause ]
Wait a minute.
And when the
balloons were full ?
I'd rub them
on a big sweater,
And stick them to the
ceiling of the white house.
Finally, a candidate
as intelligent as myself.
How can you say that ?
His solution is
impractical and ludicrous.
Sour grapes, ms. Tanner.
You lose.
I'm voting for the alfer.
[ Audience chants ]
alf, alf, alf ...
Alf.
That's my name.
Ask me again, and
i'll tell you the same.
Alf ?
That's my name.
Ask me again, and
i'll tell you the same.
What are you
doing in here ?
I got tired of looking
at the big picture.
Hey
look !
Willie's shins
glow