What?
- In the kitchen, that stuff.
- My wife got those things.
- I didn't know you were married.
- I'm not. I was married...
but we split up about two years ago.
She divorced me, took the kids, and split.
- I'm sorry I asked.
- No, it's okay, it's just...
she wanted this, I wanted that.
She said, "I'm leaving."
I held the door for her.
Come on, a person could go crazy
waiting in here.
A person could also
get his face slapped, too, you know?
- I bet I could.
- That's right, you could.
- Can you get him?
- Yeah.
I hardly recognize him
with his mouth closed.
Isn't that the truth?
He's a good kid.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- I had a real good time.
- Me, too.
Steve, you better watch it.
You're going to draw back a bloody stub.
I changed the price
on the combination here.
Listen, tell Alice her roast beef is ready.
Where is Alice?
She's out there in the john,
trying to get her knees unwelded.
Why don't you lay off her? She's all right.
I like her. She doesn't like me.
Go, go on.
Here, honey, I'm sorry.
Mel gave me the order at the same time.
- I had to bring you a salad...
- Flo, how about some service over here?
- Flo, ready on the BLT!
- Right!
Flo, where's Vera?
We got three orders piled over here!
Flo, where the hell's Vera?
What's the matter?
You didn't get your milk?
You're absolutely right.
I'm going to get you...
Where the hell is Vera?
- I can't get this thing open.
- Okay.
Can't you hear me? Where the hell's Vera?
She went to shit, and the hogs ate her!
What the hell is going on here?
All I asked you is where the hell Vera is.
Come on.
Look, I'm really sorry.
You know, Flo's got personal problems.
It's an accident. It happens.
All right, honey. I'm sorry. Really.
That's the worst thing
I've ever heard in my life.
You know, you have a worse mouth
than my kid.
- You mean, you like it?
- Like it? I hate it.
Did you make that up?
No. I heard it all my life.
I heard it first from my dad.
- You're kidding me.
- No, he's got some terrific sayings.
He lives out on a farm.
He always says his name's P.P.
He always says,
"Don't call me P.P. 'cause I'm all urine."
He makes up poems like,
"Alice, Alice, got no malice"
No more.
I'm glad you like that one.
Come on, the customers are waiting.
What's the matter?
Yeah. Laugh, laugh.
My business is falling apart,
and you're laughing.
On the way back to the motel,
I saw the "Waitress Wanted" sign.
I said, "Why not?" So I took this job.
Let me give you a hint.
- Honey, unbutton that top button.
- Really?
If you bend over,
you get more tips when you're working.
- You're kidding me...
- I'm not kidding. I got $50 last week.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Like that?
- Yeah.
Honey, forget what I said.
You do that,
and I'm never going to get a tip again.
You're so funny.
Boy.
You really need someone to talk to,
don't you?
You know, I bet you sure get Ionesome,
don't you?
Yep. I miss my friend Bea.
What time is it now, about 2:30?
Exactly. How did you know that?
I can feel it.
Bea is now watching All My Children.
There's this character
on the show named Jeff...
and she's just madly in love with him.
You want me to fix you up
with somebody?
I know lots of guys
who'd fall down over you.
Their brains would fall out,
and they'd froth at the mouth.
That sounds attractive.
Thanks a lot, but I don't think so.
Besides, I kind of got my eye
on Daddy Duke.
Honey, if you change your mind,
just let me know.
I sure will.
Isn't that sun wonderful?
- Is today the Ripple day?
- No, not today.
- You want to steal something?
- Steal what?
- I don't know. What do you need?
- Nothing, really.
What do you want?
Nothing, except some guitar strings,
but they're real expensive.
- Where are they, at Chicago music store?
- Yeah.
Let's go, darling.
Come on.
Are you all right?
- My knee.
- What happened?
There's a slick spot on your floor.
I hope this doesn't ruin
my tryout for