cola drink?
-And...a lemon-lime!
Well, this-- This is too much.
I feel like I should get you
another sweater.
And last but not least....
They're ribbed, for your pleasure.
Well, hey, Ben?
What if the Holiday Armadillo
told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Cool!
Come on, Ben.
Years and years ago, there were
these people called the Maccabees!
Merry Christmas!
Santa!
What are you doing here, Santa?
Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben.
What are you doing here...
...weird turtle-man?
I'm the Holiday Armadillo,
your part-Jewish friend.
You sent me here to give Ben
some presents.
Remember?
What?
Ben, why don't you open
some more presents.
Santa, the armadillo and I
will have a talk in the kitchen.
There's a sentence I never thought
I'd say.
What are you doing?
You called and said you had trouble
finding a Santa costume...
...so I borrowed one
from a guy at work.
Thank you, but you gotta leave.
-Why?
-Because...
...l'm finally getting him excited
about Hanukkah.
And you're wrecking it.
But I didn't get to shake my belly
like a bowl full of jelly.
I'm sorry, Chandler,
but this is really important to me.
Okay, fine. I'll give the suit back.
Hey, you think you can keep it
another night?
Santa? Really?
-Yeah, is that okay?
-Did your dad ever dress up like Santa?
-No.
-Then it's okay!
You know what, everybody?
Go home.
You should be with your families.
It's bad enough we're working
New Year's Eve.
Did I not tell anyone
about New Year's Eve?
All right, look, go. Go home, okay?
Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
-Peace on earth.
-Bye.
-Good. Godspeed, good people.
-You're not gonna go?
-No. I couldn't leave you alone.
Thanks.
Besides, I can't leave until that
Christmas party downstairs clears out.
There are some pissed-off
insurance people looking for that ham.
-Chandler Bing.
-Hi, honey. We're all here.
We want to wish you
a merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas!
-Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas. I miss you guys.
So is it horrible?
Is everybody working really hard?
Well, no, it's just me and Wendy.
Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.
It is. Did I not tell you about her?
About the time you told me
about New Year's Eve.
-Where's everybody else?
-I sent them home.
You are such a good boss.
Is she pretty?
Answer faster. Answer faster.
-I don't know.
-Answer better. Answer better.
I don't think of her that way.
I mean, she's a colleague.
-What does she do there?
-She's regional vice president.
-She's just below me.
-She did what?
Below me.
Wait, is Wendy the runner-up
Miss Oklahoma?
What?!
Well, she didn't win.
All right, maybe I should let you...
...and the second prettiest girl
in Oklahoma get back to work.
Second prettiest that year. Of all
the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably--
Chandler, stop talking.
Honey, there's really
nothing to worry about.
-Okay.
-I'm serious.
Okay.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, you guys.
-Merry Christmas.
-The wife says hi.
-Fun conversation?
Well, she's just got
this weird idea that...
...because you and I are alone
something's gonna happen.
Really?
Would that be so terrible?
This is probably the wrong thing
to be worrying about...
...but you're getting ham
on my only tie.
-Back off, missy!
-Missy?
I don't know. I'm not used to girls
making passes at me.
Wait a minute.
Am I sexy in Oklahoma?
-You are to me.
-No. No. No!
-Look, I'm married.
-So? I'm married.
I'm happily married.
What's that like?
-Right. So I'm sorry, but--
-Seriously? Happily married?
So that phone call before,
that was happy?
Well, look, it's not easy
to spend this much time apart.
She's entitled to be
a little paranoid.
Or, in this case, right on the money.
You know, she's amazing
and beautiful and smart.
And if she were here right now,
she'd kick your ass.
Look, you're a really nice person,
ham-stealing and adultery aside.
But what I have with my wife
is