are.
Last week,
we didn't even know
what clog dancing was.
Now, we're both
sick of it.
That's it.
I'm taking a rest.
[Music off]
We only have 6 hours
until the pageant.
My feet are
killing me.
All right.
We can work on your
saccharine smile, instead.
Please, no
more smiling.
My face will
lock up.
Great !
You're too serious.
I wanted it
to be fun.
You know what's fun ?
Cramming for the
interview segment.
I jotted down a few things
that the judges might ask.
Oh no !
Let's start
with the a's.
What do americans and
australians have in common ?
I don't know.
All right.  I'll
give you this one.
They both want
world peace.
Question #2 --
What do americans and
albanians have in common ?
They both want
world peace ?
Very good.
Question #3 --
What do americans ...
I don't want to go through a
zillion identical questions.
You don't want to
do anything, do you ?
Why do i even try ?
I go out of my way
to help someone.
Do they appreciate it ?
No, they
just complain.
Maybe dear abby
was right.
Maybe i do
care too much.
All right, what's
the next question ?
Are you sure
this time ?
Yes.
Okay.
What do americans and
alpha-Centaurians
have in common ?
They both want
world peace.
No!  Wrong !
They have world peace.
They want shoes !
Think before
you answer.
Question #4 --
What do americans ...
96 stations, and
not 1 is carrying
the miss southland
pageant.
Well, what
do you think ?
Oh, lynn
You look
Stunning !
Thanks, daddy.
Brian, don't you think
your sister looks pretty ?
If i say yes, do i have
to take out the garbage ?
No.
Then, she's pretty.
Thanks, brian.
Do you think i
really have a chance ?
You'll do great.
What do you think, alf ?
As grandma shumway told me,
"if you don't have anything
nice to say,
Don't say anything at all."
Then she never
spoke to me again.
I don't look good ?
Not as good as usual.
What do you mean ?
Let's take it
from the top.
What happened
to your hair ?
I got a permanent.
It'll look like that forever ?
No, just 'til it grows out.
That's what they said about
this orange dye-Job of mine.
And that dress makes
you look 22 years old.
I was hoping for 25.
Why don't you go the distance,
and try to look as old as kate.
You're gonna go the distance --
Out the door.
We think she
looks nice.
I do too, but she's
lost that natural glow.
Now she just looks glamorous.
I'll take that
as a complement.
Maybe it's the makeup, but i
really think i do have a chance.
I wanted to take a photo,
But now i don't know if
lynn's hair will fit in.
Well, let's try.
Good idea.
Come on, brian.
That's my new camera.
Let me show you how it works.
If i can hot wire your car,
i can certainly work a camera.
You hot wired my ...
Stop talking !
You'll ruin the picture.
Everybody
get together.
Ready ?
4
5
What are you doing ?
On melmac, we count to 21
before we take a picture.
We'd better
7 get going.
We don't want
8 to be late.
[Alf stillwe'll be back in
counting]2 hours.
Good
luck.
Thanks, i
love you.
 16
20
21 !
Perfect.
I wonder where
they are ?
It's been
over 2 hours.
Let's play another game.
How about hide & seek ?
Yeah, why not ?
Close your eyes
and count to 10.
Right.
2
6,7,8,9,10.
Ok, brian.
Try to find me.
You're supposed
to find me.
Well, where
are you ?
 You have to
look for me.
Why would i want
to do that ?
Haven't you ever played
hide and seek before ?
Yeah.
There you are.
I win.
We're back.
Where's your crown ?
The winner has it.
Get it back
from her.
Lynn didn't
exactly win.
Who beat you ?
Everybody.
The hair, huh ?
It wasn't my hair.
Did you know there were 4
other clog dancers there ?
You did
your best.
You should feel
good about that.
I know.  I just really
thought i had a chance.
The other girls just had
more