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Damn!
Whiskey, let's find us
a nice little bank.
What do you know? I'm the boss.
That does it, Whiskey.
Now just for that, I'm going in alone.
Without me, you'll wind up
holding a broken chair together.
You say something?
Okay...
...but remember, I'm boss.
Cactus Jack Slade waits in the shade
Pondering his evil schemes
He's a well-known bad guy
Ready to try whatever it takes
To live up to his name
No one is safe from the villain
He totes a dangerous gun
And robbing and stealing
And just plain dirty dealing
Cactus Jack Slade gets it done
Get off the streets, he's the villain
Meet me in front.
Close all the stores
Lock all the doors
Cactus Jack Slade has arrived
- Who is it?
- The sheriff.
Open up.
You're not the sheriff.
I lied.
One, close the door. Two, open the
safe. Three, on the floor.
You forgot number two.
Oh, no, I didn't. I did that
when you stuck that gun in my face.
- Open that safe.
- The safe is locked for the night.
And only Mr. Simpson
has the combination.
I'm just a clerk.
Excuse me.
Got a light?
How about a cigar?
I don't smoke.
Oh, I should've had two...
- What's that noise?
- It came from the bank.
The sheriff's coming.
What are you doing, you traitor?
Whiskey? You traitor!
I'll get even with you.
You won't get away with this.
Traitor! I'll get even with you.
Get your hands off me.
Nobody pushes me around like this.
Here, ma'am, let me help you
cross the street.
Are you blind?
Don't you see all these horses?
We'll never live through this.
Watch out!
Are you trying to get me killed?
Oh, this is terrible.
Here, let me help you, ma'am.
See, Mother, safe and sound.
First of all, I ain't your mother.
Secondly,
take your arm off me, dummy!
And third, I didn't want to cross
the street in the first place.
Yes, ma'am.
Charming, you're gonna miss
your train.
Now remember what I told you.
Avery Simpson would steal the candy
from a young'un if he got the chance.
- Are you listening?
- Yes, Papa.
- Them shoes still on that mare?
- Hell, yes.
There's enough silver in that hill
to make a St. Louis hooker happy...
...but it won't do no good
in the hills, understand?
So you watch out
for that thieving Avery Simpson...
...or he'll wind up owning
all of my mine. You follow me?
One ticket to Snake's End.
That'll do it,
one ticket to Snake's End.
Going away on a business trip,
Mr. Parody?
None of your business, Charming.
Well, here's your ticket.
Well, take it. Bite on it.
I'll get ahold of somebody to meet you
in Snake's End.
And he'll protect you.
I can take care of myself.
Charming, I'm not worried about...
I'm worried about the money!
Bring the money right back
to the house.
- And be careful of strangers.
- Yes, Daddy.
Pardon me, sir.
- I'm Handsome Stranger.
- So?
That's my name.
You have a telegram for me.
Boy, you talk...
...funny.
Well, that's easy for you to say.
What about my telegram?
So I did. I forgot to write it down.
With all that commotion
and everything...
...going over at the bank...
But I do recollect what it said.
It was from a guy named...
...Parody Jones. He said...
...his daughter was coming into town
to pick something up at the bank.
And that you are supposed
to escort her...
...back out to his...
...place.
And then he said something
about you owing him.
That's true.
He saved my life once.
I've been beholden to him ever since.
When is Miss Jones arriving?
Miss Jones is...
Miss Jones is coming in
On the evening train
Do I still have time to eat?
Sure, you do. Just go on over
to the Broken Spoke and eat.
Broken Spoke? It's a saloon.
That's right.
And this here's a telegraph office.
To send a telegram, you come here.
It's the only place in town.
To eat, you go to the Broken Spoke,
because it's the only place in...
Thank you. Thank you.
...town.
Oh, I don't believe it.
Oh, easy. Go slow, go slow.
What happened?
She was trying to cross the street.
Got hit by a

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