story?
You big tub of..."
Mush.
"Tub of mush. Well, try and get it.
"What I said about never writing
another line for you still goes.
"Are you burning? Peter Warne."
That'll be $2.60.
- Send it collect.
- Collect?
Collect.
Bus leaving for Savannah, Charleston,
Columbia, Greensboro, Richmond...
...Washington, Baltimore,
Philadelphia, New York...
Hi, sister. All alone? My name's Shapeley.
May as well get acquainted, it's a long trip.
Gets tiresome.
Especially for somebody like you.
You look like you've got class.
Yes, with a capital "K". I'm the guy
that knows class when he sees it.
Believe you me. Ask any of the boys.
They'll tell you.
Shapeley sure knows how to pick them.
Shapeley's the name
and that's the way I like them.
You made no mistake sitting next to me.
Most girls you meet on the bus...
...ain't nothing to write home
to the wife about.
You gotta be awful careful
who you hit it up with.
You can't be too particular, neither.
What's the matter, you ain't saying much?
Seems to me you're doing excellently
without any assistance.
That's pretty good. "Seems to me you're
doing excellently without any assistance."
Well shut my big, nasty mouth.
Looks like you're one up on me.
There's nothing I like better
than to meet a high-class mama...
...that can snap back at you.
The colder they are, the hotter they get.
That's what I always say.
Yes, sir.
When a cold mama gets hot,
boy how she sizzles.
Now you're just my type.
Believe me, sister,
I could go for you in a big way.
"Fun-on-the-side Shapeley," they call me.
With accent on the "fun". Believe you me.
Believe you me,
you bore me to distraction.
Looks like you're two up on me now.
Hey, you.
- There's a seat over there for you.
- What's the idea?
I'd like to sit next to my wife,
if you don't mind.
- Your wife?
- Yes.
Come on.
Yeah. Sure, excuse me.
You know, I was just...
Sure. Excuse me, miss.
I was just trying to make things pleasant.
Excuse me, I...
I didn't mean anything, Doc.
- No offence, Doc.
- No.
If you promise not to snap my head off,
I'd like to thank you.
Forget it. I didn't do it for you.
His voice gets on my nerves.
What'd you do all day?
Ran in and out of doorways.
Trying to keep out of the rain.
Your clothes are all wet.
Here.
You're as helpless as a baby.
Thank you.
Here you are, folks. Cigars, cigarettes,
chewing gum, candy, magazines.
Here, boy.
- Yes, ma'am.
- A box of chocolates, please.
- Never mind. She doesn't want it.
- But...
- Of course, I do. What do you mean?
- Beat it.
Well, you've got your nerve. Here, boy!
$1.60.
You had $4 last night.
How will you get to New York at this rate?
That's none of your business.
You're on a budget from now on.
- Just a minute. You can't...
- Shut up.
- What's the matter, officer?
- Bridge washed out.
Looks like we can't get through
till morning.
If any passengers want a place to sleep...
...you'll find an auto camp
up yonder a piece.
- Where?
- Right over there. See those lights?
Dyke's Auto camp.
All right, thanks. Hey, brat.
Are you talking to me?
Yeah. Come on,
we're stopping here for the night.
Hey! Come on, we're all set.
Good evening. Hope you
and your husband rest comfortable.
Come on! What are you going to do,
stay out there all night?
Darn clever, these Armenians?
Yeah, it's a gift.
I just had the unpleasant sensation
of hearing you referred to as my husband.
Yeah. I forgot to tell you about that.
I registered as Mr. And Mrs.
You did?
What am I expected to do? Leap for joy?
I kind of half expected you to thank me.
Your ego is absolutely colossal.
Yeah, it's not bad. How's yours?
You know, compared to you,
my friend Shapeley's an amateur.
Just whatever gave you any idea
I'd stand for this?
Now wait a minute.
Let's get this straightened out right now.
If you're nursing any silly notion
that I'm interested in you, forget it.
You're just a headline to me.
A headline?
You're