magazine?
- Sure.
The fee can apply toward the down
payment on a Survival Hideaway.
- A 44 magnum.
- Can I hold it?
- That one?
- Fits in the small of the back.
- So I could come up behind someone.
- Well, it...
- Come on.
- I'm just looking.
- Look fast.
- You got it.
- Can I see one of those? Thanks.
- Yes.
- Aboriginal.
- I beg your pardon.
- The obsession people have for guns.
- Just like the cowboys.
- How about that?
- Aim it right down the barrel.
- Can I get a shoulder holster?
- A shoulder holster?
Right here. You see
how I got that, huh?
- You don't want a more compact...?
- That wouldn't kill a flea.
If you saw this you'd run.
- I want one.
- No you don't.
- Yes.
- No.
I have wonderful luck with my mace.
- Think you'd like it?
- Yes.
- Can we go together on a refill?
- Thanks...
...but I'm allergic to mace.
Quite a weapon.
Just looking.
- Donald?
- Hon, I'll be right in.
Don't you worry. I'll be right there.
- Where were you?
- What?
- What time is it?
- It's late, little buttercup.
You go right back to bed.
I'll be right there. Come on now.
You know I can't fall asleep
again once I wake up.
- Not unless we snuggle.
- No, no.
Something's poking me.
It's the best I can do
on short notice.
Something's under here.
Make a wish.
What is that?
Looks like an assault rifle.
Semi-automatic. 308 caliber with...
...a folding stock.
I was gonna show you at breakfast.
You spoiled my surprise.
I've seen that look. You're mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
Really? You're gonna love
these other goodies I got.
A little detachable bayonet. Look.
Hey. Self-cleaning too.
That's nice. It won't rust.
I got one for you.
It's called a "Fem-Prod"...
...or the "Little Squealer".
Kind of nice...
...designer thing,
goes with any outfit.
I got another one here.
This is a concussion grenade.
That would break up any party.
These are little designer weapons.
Chinese throwing stars.
Put them as buttons and
if someone messes with you...
I got two extra clips.
These are fun. Look at that.
This is for a medium load,
and this is for a large.
Fifty shots.
This is it. He threw this
in for free. Look.
Looks like a belt buckle, doesn't it?
But, okay. Surprise!
- Now you're mad at me.
- I'm not mad at you.
You've been under pressure.
I know that pressure can make
people do crazy...
...and impulsive things.
No, I bought these things for us.
For you too.
What if someone broke in?
What will you do?
Stun him with good taste?
I bought them because there's a need.
The world's coming undone like a cheap
suit. We have to be ready.
This may be impulsive,
but it's not crazy.
Maybe we should get some rest
and talk about this tomorrow.
You should read this first.
"Give me two weeks,
I'll give you a future".
I've enrolled us in this.
I want us to go to Vermont
for a few weeks.
- We may stay if we like it.
- You serious?
Yes, very much so.
Times are changing
and not for the better.
I never thought I'd consider
marrying a man with an automatic gun.
Semi-automatic.
Automatics are illegal.
- Why are you saying "consider"?
- I just mean, Donald...
...you seem so different.
- Whizzer...
...I'm no different, I'm just armed.
Survival training will be fun.
Like skiing,
except for booby traps.
I don't believe in surviving.
I believe in living.
Come on, take a chance.
I'm not gonna go.
If you want to go, you can.
But, I won't be here
when you get back.
Yes, you will.
You'll love me more when I'm back.
You'll remember I was a wimp
and love me more...
...because I'll be a real man.
- I love who you are now.
Or at least who I thought you were.
Don't...
I'm on my way. Got my gear. I'm
giving you one last chance to come.
You can give me
pointers when you get back.
Depending how things go,
I might not come back.
I may buy a survival condo
and stay indefinitely.
Indefinitely?
In case you want to visit,
here's the address and directions.