cowhand
"from the Rio Grande
"But my leg's not bowed
"And my face not tan
"I'm a cowboy who's never seen that cow
"Can't rope a steer
'cause I don't know how
"And I'm not going to start learning how"
I tipped the desk clerk $100 for this room
so we could hear his every move.
When he leaves, we go too.
What if he stays in?
He won't. He loves a club called Inferno.
The man does not sleep.
The guy in the truck
said his name was Scrimshaw?
What are you looking at?
I thought you were a gentleman.
Come on, Tuck, what do you expect?
She has the cutest little overbite,
don't you think?
It gives her mouth this adorable,
pouty expression! So sweet!
I know what she looks like.
What is the deal
between you two, anyway?
It's none of your business.
Tuck, I need a change of clothes.
Mind if I dip into your suitcase?
Dip all you like, nothing's going to fit you.
Legal counsel
to reputed organized crime figures.
Administrator of four
Teamster pension funds...
...suspected of black market arms dealing...
...yet somehow
he always keeps his nose clean.
Anything else?
They say he has Jimmy Hoffa's wristwatch
in his desk drawer as a souvenir.
Oxygen reserve at 60 percent.
We be cool.
Jack, Scrimshaw is...
How do I look?
What's the matter?
Nothing.
You just remind me of a time...
...when Tuck wore this jacket.
It was the night we first met.
You were doing that article about me...
...we had dinner and talked until 3;00 a.m.
I got drunk and threw up, and fell
down a manhole walking you home.
It looks like you're pretty hung up
on the guy.
How well do you know Tuck?
Well, we're very close, actually.
Does he...
...talk about me?
I find that Tuck tends to be
a little tight-lipped about women.
Will you knock it off!
If I were Tuck,
I'd talk about you all the time.
Yeah. Right.
The Cowboy is leaving.
I think I need a ticket.
Jack?
Jack!
It's Wendy! My God, Jack!
-Look at you.
-Well, look at you.
I'm going in before we lose him.
-I'm with him!
-She's with me.
Hey, Cowboy.
I can't believe it, Jack!
This is so exciting!
How long have you led this double life?
Oh, for a while now.
Women love me.
But you know that.
But for serious,
two things you want to know about me:
One, I make love with my boots on.
And two...
I know I've been mean to you, Jack.
I can be such a shit sometimes.
It doesn't really matter.
It's probably on account of my life sucking
the way it does.
I'm a complete mess, you know.
-You know?
-Yeah.
You're probably the only person
at the supermarket I haven't slept with.
And you're the only person
I'm even partially attracted to.
Thank you.
That lady is signaling you.
I came with her,
I should find out what she wants.
I found out something.
The Cowboy is meeting with Scrimshaw,
they're picking him up at the hotel.
They're going to give him the microchip.
Cowboy.
This is Jack.
-Hi, Cowboy.
-Howdy, Big Jack.
Let's go, Buffalo Gal.
Let's split this nowhere scene.
He's taking me to the hotel. Follow us.
Wendy?
-I'm sorry, I gotta go.
-Call me later?
Hurry up!
I am hurrying up, okay?
I don't want her alone
with that sleazy Cowboy either.
Yeah, why not?
Because I just don't, that's why.
God, I can't believe how hostile I feel
towards you right now.
Because I'm stimulating
your adrenal gland, pal.
Maybe that's the reason and maybe not.
You got something to say, just say it.
She deserves better. That's all.
-Better than what?
-Better than you.
I knew it!
You think she goes for you, don't you?
You know what she sees in you?
She sees me.
All right, Pendelton, that's it.
Where are you?
Where are you, you little weasel?
Save it for the Cowboy.
Wrong door!
That's an exit, Jack. Come on, control it.
You're a dangerous individual.
You can do it!
Big Jack!
Don't knock, just come!
Duke the son of a bitch!
Jack?
-Where were you?
-Next door waiting for you.
Beauty punch anyway, Big Jack.
Now tie that sucker tight,
he's