attention.
Never even looked at them.
Amatis, you love. Amant, they love.
Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant.
Hey, kid, what kind of language is that?
Oh, it's not a language. It's just some
jokes I'm working on. Some crazyjokes.
"Pu... Pu..."
Puella. Girl.
"First Year Latin"?
It's my kid brother's.
- How old are you?
- 19.
Uh-huh. What year were you born?
Uh, 1930...
- Try 1934.
- Right. 1934.
1935?
1935, yeah.
Now try 1492.
See you around, kid.
Maybe we could have
a drink together sometime?
Oh, sure.
You notice we have small waitresses here.
You know why? Make the drinks look bigger.
That's my favourite one.
The one with the big tips.
I got problems, too.
I went to see my psychiatrist.
I told him I have suicidal tendencies.
He says "From now on, you pay in advance."
Look, I don't have to do this for a living.
I have four chinchillas at home in heat.
No, I make a lot of money.
I just have trouble passing it.
I just have trouble passing it. Is this on?
First-year Latin!
It's three o'clock in the morning.
Isn't it past your bedtime?
I don't look for big laughs. I'll settle
for intelligent nods. Anything. Wink.
You better stop lying, or your nose will grow!
Ooh! Something's growing!
The drummer's not really with the band,
but he has the car. Married 14 years.
14 years, no children! Strict mother-in-law.
Let's continue on. Right now, ladies
and gentlemen, here he is, Tops'n'Taps,
- may we present Mr Joe Gideon!
- You're on!
Joey's never done anything to disappoint me.
It's showtime, folks.
- You believe in love?
- I believe in saying "I love you."
Helps you concentrate.
Joe, they've askedme
to go on tour with the show.
How long?
Six months. What do you think?
- And you say it all the time.
- I say it a lot. A lot.
- When?
- When it works.
You know, I love you, Katie, but I think
you have to do what's best for you.
- Just what do you mean, Joe?
- Sometimes it doesn't work.
I mean, for your sake, I think you should go.
Hello, Michael? It's Katie.
So, um, did you mean it about dinner?
Wally's at eleven?
You're surprised? I'm a little surprised.
Thank you. OK, Michael. Bye-bye.
I'm a little surprised too. Isn't that nice?
Now we're all a little surprised.
- Who was that?
- Michael Graham.
- Who is Michael Graham?
- The dancer in my ballet class.
Straight or gay?
What do you mean?
I mean is he looking to get laid,
or is he looking for Mr Right?
He's straight.
And tall.
Michael Graham is a very tall name.
Oh, goddammit!
How dare you use my phone, my telephone,
to call somebody who's not gay?
I see. You can go out
with any girl, any girl in town...
That's right. I go out with any girl in town.
I stay in with you.
Joe, it's not fair...
I'm spilling the coffee...
It's all wrong. Everything is all wrong.
That's some set of rules you had for her.
Yeah, I know. I know.
But as long as you could
get away with it, right?
Right.
I don't wanna go out with Michael Graham.
I don't want a date. I have no small talk left.
I don't wanna fool around, I don't wanna
play games and I don't wanna fight.
I just want to love you.
Katie...
I try to give you everything I can give.
Oh, you give, all right. Presents, clothes...
I just wish
you weren't so generous with your cock.
That's good.
Maybe I can use that some time.
Katie! About the goddamn tour...
I don't think you should go.
Wrong reading.
Softly and with feeling.
Don't go.
Please?
- Why do you suppose she put up with it?
- I can think of many reasons
- for wanting to be with you.
- Now don't bullshit a bullshitter.
It's perfect. Didn't I tell you?
Oh, it's very, very good!
I think we might even get
a commercial tie-in with the airlines.
- You think so? Great.
- Audrey?
Well, ask...
Yeah, it's OK.
Let me see what I can do with it.
I think it's just what the show needs.
It's catchy, it's bouncy. Right, Ted?
- Oh, yeah, very bouncy and catchy.
- Can we hear it again?
-