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triumphant directorial
achievement with "50 Beautiful Girls, 50",
when he won every possible award,
it would be nice to report that
Mr Gideon's latest effort, "The Stand-up",
starring Davis Newman, was a better film.
Oh, boy, here it comes.
Joey, turn it off, please.
... falls into his characteristic weakness
of trying too hard to please, to entertain.
- Josh, no. I wanna hear it.
- The razzle-dazzle sometimes obliterates...
- What does she know?
- She never gives a good review.
That woman is totally unqualified
to criticise anything.
- She doesn't know a damn thing about film.
- Or anything.
She's not even reviewing a film.
She's telling you how clever she is.
... where the has-been comic,
played impeccably by Davis Newman,
demonstrates his former
brilliance in a monologue
where clearly director Gideon
gave Mr Newman free rein.
Rising above rather commonplace material,
the actor creates a classic comic...
l guarantee this picture
will do 30 million domestic, at least.
- One of you better get somebody.
- What?
I think I'm in trouble.
... chopping off the ends of scenes
before the drama is played out,
left this reviewer with bewilderment
and a four-aspirin headache.
Using my four-balloon rating system,
l give "The Stand-up" haIf a balloon.
- How are you feeling?
- The truth? I'm scared.
Roll 'em.
Action. Oh, my God...
Ladies and gentlemen, the doctors.
I'm Dr Hyman, the internist.
I'm Dr Garry, the surgeon.
- I'm Dr Ballinger, the cardiologist.
- Five, six, seven, eight...
The heart is the viscus that maintains
the circulation of the blood.
That means he had total blockage in...
two arteries.
This is the man who would be
my first choice as a modern-day saint.
When I was in those marches, like Selma,
this brother was shufflin'
right alongside me,
long before those cats who thought
civil rights was a hip scene
and jumped on the blackwagon.
The blackwagon! Oh, ladies
and gentlemen, let me lay on ya...
- A great entertainer.
- a great entertainer,
- A great humanitarian.
- a great humanitarian,
- And my dearest friend.
- and my dearest friend
- Blah-blah.
- for 17 years.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- See how much I learn from you?
- I'm afraid you've learned too much from me.
- There you are, Mr Gideon.
This is one of my A1,
first-rate, top-drawerjobs.
That's it. Good luck tomorrow.
What did you mean, I learned too much?
You're gonna make it. I'm hardly ever wrong.
Thanks.
Remember last Tuesday night?
It was raining... very hard.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was raining. What about it?
I called you at midnight.
I must have been walking the dog.
I don't have time for this sort of thing.
You were with someone.
Yes.
And you made love to him.
Yeah.
Well, that's it, huh? We're finished?
I don't know.
How do you feel about me?
I love you.
Then I guess we're not finished.
Because I really do love you, Katie.
- You mean that?
- Ah, hell, no.
I was pissed off at her.
I don't know. Yeah, I did mean it.
Sort of. Sometimes I don't know where
the bullshit ends and the truth begins.
I just wanted to say something nice to her.
Why?
In case...
In case...
In case.
If I die, I'm sorry for all
the bad things I did to ya.
And if I live, I'm sorry for all
the bad things I'm gonna do to you.
...as stated in the declarations,
sustained directly as the result of injury,
sickness, death of, or permanent disability...
Excuse me, Mr Clark.
Larry, give me our figures.
Well, on an estimated
production budget of $941,000,
with a contingency of 59,000
to round it out to the million,
so far we're in for
at least two-thirds of the fees.
Design, 8,000, costumes, 8,000,
electrics, 4,000.
We're in for the full director-choreographer,
15,000. Casting is another
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