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Варвара-краса, длинная коса

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EndM.Gorky Film Studio
In the year umpteenth,
in plain words,
well before our time,
there ruled over his realm,
the 39th in his line,
Yeremey the Bearded,
a czar thrifty and mercantile.
And to Yeremey once it occurred
that the way he ruled is right not.
He decided for the sake of truth:
everything should be checked,
audited and proved.
- How many wax candles?
- One hundred and forty-two.
- And candle ends?
- 97 pounds 13 ounces.
- Windows?
- All counted!
Keep on counting!
- Itemize! Name each item!
- Name each item! Itemize!
- Thrones!
- Thrones!
- Name and number!
- Number and name!
- Two throninas.
- Two throninas!
You highbrow!
"Throne" is masculine.
I see it this way.
A czar's throne is masculine.
But Czarina is a woman.
Therefore, a czarina's throne is
Controversial, but logical.
I agree.
Write it down: one throne and
one thronina.
One thronina and one throne.
We've taken inventory: the palace,
thrones, windows, chairs, etc.
Let's look outside. Follow me!
- What about the ink?
- Roll out the ink!
- Did you load the quill pens?
- The quill pens. Did you load?
The quill pens'll go on their own.
- And the parchment?
- The parchment?
Where are you going, Yeremushka?
Stupid woman.
It's not a czar's business!
Long hair, short brain.
That's exactly the czar's business.
- Not the czar's business!
- It is!
It is not...
- Have the stairs been counted?
- They've been counted!
How many steps?
- Count them again!
- Count them again!
How many?
Written by M. CHUPRIN
with A. ROW
Directed by Alexander ROW
Director of Photography
Production Designers
Sound Supervisor - A. DIKAN
English subtitles by
Yeremey, czar - M. PUGOVKIN
Chudo Yudo, another czar -
Aphonia, cleric - A. KUBATSKY
Praskovya, his wife - L.KOROLYOVA
Andrey, fisherman's son - A.KATYSHEV
Andrey, czar's son - S.NIKOLAEV
Barbara the Fair - T.KLIUYEVA
Stepanida, nanny - V.POPOVA
Most authentic pirates:
Suitors, their own matchmakers:
Fishwife - V. ANANYINA
Malanya, czarina - V. PETROVA
Happy old fairy - V.ALTAISKAYA
Wet nurse - Ye. KUZIURINA
Whole year Yeremey
kept his count and check.
He exhausted his clerks
he himself got well fagged.
Itemized he all mushrooms,
every tree in the woods,
all the freckles on faces
of little children and dudes.
All the ink being used,
he sighed with relief
and decided to venture
back home, in brief.
But the road back home
was a long way at best,
Yeremey then decided
to take a good rest.
To use up a whole barrel of ink!
And to think of all the cattle
that had gone for the parchment!
- You mean the sheep?
- Yeah, the sheep.
And what about the goose quills
that we've destroyed!
I'm so thirsty
and out of patience!
Patience is a virtue, my Czar.
I would give anything for a soda!
You expect to find
bottled soda here?
It's the wilderness on and on...
Our path is very long...
Let me go!
Not without a ransom.
What kind of ransom do you want?
Give me your land czar's
word of honor
that you'll give me whatever
is unknown to you in your realm.
Whatever is unknown to me
in my realm?
I swear by my czar's word
of honor.
Father Czar!
I have your czar's word of honor.
I have nothing to fear.
There isn't one object
that hasn't been listed.
I know everything in my realm.
Welcome back!
We've got happy news!
A great blessing!
An heir to the throne is born!
Andrey Yeremeyevich!
That's it!
The only thing in my kingdom
unknown to me.
What's wrong with him?
He fainted!
- Why?
- He's overjoyed!
He's overwhelmed!
Every blade of grass,
I've counted everything.
And yet I miscalculated!
It's not the czar's spirit
to succumb to low spirits.
- No one around?
- No one!
It's not
Варвара-краса, длинная коса

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