tooth came out,
and she can't find it,
and she's afraid the
tooth fairy won't know.
Oh, God, that thin, reedy little
voice! You know what that does to me?
Sure, that cheerful look on your
face doesn't fool me for a minute.
You think this is funny?
Doris, my little girl, said,
"I love you, Daddy,"
and I answered her in a voice
still hoarse with passion.
I get the picture, George.
Don’t you ever
feel guilty?
Sometimes. Well, you never say anything.
Well, I just handle it
in a different way. How?
Privately.
Boy, something like this
really brings you up short.
I mean, look at this.
Look at me. Look.
I tell you, Doris, when she started
talking about the tooth fairy,
that affected me
in a very profound manner.
On top of which, I have
indigestion you won't believe.
It hit me that hard,
you know?
I have three children too,
you know, George?
What do you
want me to do?
It would be terrific if you
stopped talking about it.
It is only making you feel
worse. I can't feel worse!
That pure little voice
- No, you're right. Oh!
No, forget it.
Change the subject.
So t-tell me about the
good story about Harry.
He went bankrupt.
How can you go bankrupt
selling TV sets?
Harry has one little failing
as a salesman.
It's a compulsion to talk people out
of things that they can't really afford.
He kind of lacks
the killer instinct.
Actually, it's one of the things
about him that I like best.
Oh, listen. Something
just occurred to me.
Instead of my leaving at my usual time,
would you mind if I left a little earlier?
When did you have in mind?
There's a plane in half an hour.
You want to leave
23 hours early?
There's a connecting flight
from San Francisco in 90 minutes.
I know how you feel.
Really, I do.
I wouldn't suggest it if you weren't
a mother and didn't understand.
It wouldn't even occur to me
if-if this crisis hadn't come up.
I don't mean
Just the tooth Fairy.
She could have swallowed
the tooth.
It could be lodged
God knows where.
Uh... have you seen
my hairbrush?
Doris, I'm probably
doing you a big Favor.
If I did stay, I probably wouldn't be very
good company. I'm thinking of you too.
With the way I'm Feeling-
You probably understand.
You feel somewhat
rejected, right?
I understand.
Really, I do.
I just want you to know that my leaving
has nothing to do with you and me.
This is an emergency! I
have a sick child at home!
Will you stop?
This has nothing to do with
the goddamn tooth Fairy!
You are simply
feeling guilty,
and you wanna get
as far from me as possible.
All right!
I feel guilty, yes!
Is that so strange?
Doris, we're cheating.
Once a year
we lie to our families...
and sneak off to a hotel
in California...
and commit adultery!
Not that I want to
stop doing it.
But yes, I feel guilty.
I admit it.
You admit it?
You take out ads.
I'll bet you stop strangers
on the street!
Y-You probably have
a scarlet "A" embroidered...
on your jockey shorts.
You go around
like an open nerve saying,
"Yes, I'm cheating,
but look how guilty I feel,
so I must really be
a nice guy."
Then
- Then to top it all, you have the incredible arrogance...
of thinking you're the only person
in the world with a conscience.
Well, that doesn't make you
a nice guy, George!
You know what that
makes you? A horse's ass!
I liked you a lot better before you
joined the Book of the Month Club.
Yes, I'll just bet
you did.
- Look, can we discuss this in the car?
- The car?
I really hate to ask you, Doris,
but I need a lift to the airport.
Cheer up, Doris. It's not the end of the
world. I'm not leaving you permanently.
I'll see you next year.
No, I don't think
you will.
Just because I have to
leave early one year,
you're willing to throw away
a lifetime of weekends?
How can you be
so casual?
I don't see any point in
going on. Don't do that to me.
Don't try to manipulate me.
I get enough of that at home.
What's the sense of meeting