mean you had your baby?
- No, Connie did all the having.
- I just paced a hole in the damn floor.
- Tell your folks yet?
No, Mason, we figured we ought to wait
till we'd been married nine months.
Come on, guys, get your coats.
Let's go tell some people.
I can just see Cole
breaking out the champagne.
Cole don't have to know about it.
I been in Cole's house a thousand times
without him knowing about it.
Yeah, well, I guess you do have to have
a few more people congratulate you.
- Getting an entire woman pregnant.
- I like how you put that.
Johnny says Cole's been on the warpath
all week.
- Hurry up, it's Cole.
- Ssh!
Open up!
What the hell's going on?
Will you guys be a little more hospitable
here? We got our common law articles.
- Hey, boy or girl?
- Boy.
- What does he weigh?
- I don't know what he weighs.
Kid just got born, man.
We put him on a diet already?
- How about a little celebration?
- Yeah! Give me that!
I'm gonna go get Jamie.
- Keep it down. My Dad's still up.
- Oh, I ain't scared of Cole.
Well, good, Mace.
I'll tell him you're here.
Hey, Jamie.
- Oh, I thought you were Johnny.
- Well, I ain't.
- Jamie, are you in bed?
- Cut it out.
Get in the closet.
Yes, Dad?
Jamie, what was that noise?
I think the wind blew the door shut.
- I told you to leave the window closed.
- I can't sleep when it's closed.
Well, you won't be able to sit if you
don't. You leave this shut, you hear?
I'm not deaf, Cole.
Good night.
Hey, you do have a reason for being
in my bedroom in the middle of the night?
I... Well...
Don't look so scared. I got my nightgown.
I'm not scared. Scared of what?
Getting what you came for.
Oh, no, no. See, Lem showed up.
He's over in Johnny and Bob's room.
Oh, yeah? Boy or girl?
- It's a boy.
- Ah!
I'm sitting there and this nurse comes in.
She goes, "Hey, are you gonna be
like her coach in there?"
And I says, "Her coach? What is this now?
A sport or something?"
"Compete against the other moms,
who can have their kid first?"
I said, "I'm sitting in that waiting room,
and I'm gonna read some old Time
magazine 20 times before I go in there."
- Hey, Jamie.
- Hey, Lem. Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- You get caught in a storm on the way?
You're just lucky she didn't have it
loaded with ink this time.
No, what he's lucky
is that I didn't have my BB gun with me.
No, where I'm really lucky
is Cole didn't catch me over there.
Whoa! Instant death.
You are a little young
to be hiding men in closets.
I wouldn't mind
if most of them stayed hid.
- So, you had a boy?
- You're damn straight.
If it'd been a girl, you could have kept
on trying till you got what you wanted.
Oh, Jesus! Don't get her started
on that femalism stuff.
Feminism.
Boy, I'm glad
Connie don't mess around with that stuff.
Jamie, you're a real good kid,
but you don't know nothing about being
a wife and a mother, so cool out, little girl.
Well, good luck, but personally I don't
think the two of you could raise a cat.
You got a kind word for everybody,
don't you?
Lay off, Mace.
Kid's only five hours old, for God's sake!
Yeah, and probably smarter
than the both of you put together.
- Hey, Jamie!
- Sorry.
Tell Connie I'll baby-sit
as soon as I learn how to drive.
- Sure, I'll tell her.
- What's all that noise up there?
- Hey, congratulations.
- Hit that light.
Hi, Dad.
I'm telling you, Cole jumps on those guys
like a duck on a June bug.
I'd be a little bit uptight too,
if I was 48 before I threw my first kid.
- It's too late for you, Lem.
- Yeah, right!
Hey, listen, you boys got to come by
and see Connie and the kid, all right?
Oh, I almost forgot.
Pass around the cigars, huh?
No, not for me. I'm in training.
You're gonna have to teach my kid
to fast break.
Listen, the next time you farm boys
hit the big city, come on by.
- Sure.
- See you at the fair. OK, Tex?
- Not me, but say hi to Connie.
- OK,