their living rooms.
So you will be helping them
to pretend...
...that that's where they are.
What do you think?
Your logo. You get it?
While armchair travellers
dream of going places...
...travelling armchairs
dream of staying put.
After this, I want you to start
on New York and the Northeast again.
So soon?
It's been three years, Macon.
Edward! Stop it!
Macon, did he get you?
- I wouldn't have a dog like that.
- He's never done that.
I'd call the SPCA or the dogcatcher.
Tell them you want him done away with.
Just go, Julian.
Hold on, hold on.
We have a couple more limas.
Yeah, we do.
What do we have next?
Now I need M's or N's,
anything starting with those.
Then how about these noodles?
N for noodles.
P for pasta?
E for elbow macaroni. You might
have passed those up earlier, Porter.
Rose?
Rose?
It seems Edward's given me
a little sort of nip.
- Oh, Macon.
- How did it happen?
It was an accident,
but I think I need an antiseptic.
- You need a tetanus shot.
- You need to get rid of that dog.
He didn't mean any harm.
Takes your hand off
and he means no harm?
You should get rid of him, I tell you.
- Well, I can't.
- Why not?
Come on, boy. Yeah!
Ethan, you think
you could do that outside?
Right.
I just can't get rid of him,
that's all.
Macon, come sit down.
Let me see what I have.
Maybe we could send him
to obedience schooI.
Edward, sit.
Now, you kind of cluck
your tongue.
They get to know a cluck means praise.
When I hold my hand out, see...
...that means he has to stay.
Stay.
That was very good.
He's supposed to wear this
till he's trained.
That way, you can yank him back
whenever he does something wrong.
Here you go.
Make him sit.
Sit.
Poke him down.
- He doesn't take you seriously.
- I know that.
Years ago, I saw this ad in the paper:
Make extra money in your off-hours.
A dog-training firm
that went to people's houses.
Doggie Do, it was called.
Don't you just hate that name?
Who's the lady?
Lady?
I saw a lady walking
through the kitchen.
Oh, that's Rose.
- Is she your ex-wife, or what?
- She's my sister.
Your sister.
This house belongs to her.
I don't live with anybody either.
You can release him now.
Pardon?
Release your dog.
What do you do for a living?
I write.
- Travel guidebooks.
- Travel guides!
Lucky. I love to travel.
Oh, travel.
It's just red tape, mostly.
Ticket lines, customs lines.
Should Edward be barking that way?
If I could go anywhere,
I'd go to Paris.
It sounds so romantic.
Paris, actually, is terrible.
Everybody's impolite.
Take me with you next time.
I could show you the good parts.
I have a very limited expense account.
I never even took my wife.
My wife.
I was only teasing.
You think I meant it?
Oh, no.
That'll be $ 14.40, including
the leash and the choke chain.
You have to practice what he's learned.
No one else can practice for you.
You can pay me the other
4 cents tomorrow.
Sit.
Are you absolutely clear about this?
Yes. I know exactly where we are.
I have the address right here.
- Now, I'll be back in one half hour.
- Are you sure?
Macon, please. I'm just going
around the corner. Now, goodbye.
The Accidental Tourist on Crutches.
I guess I'll be going.
My sister's picking me up.
Rose? She's coming here?
I'd like to see her.
Macon, do me a favour.
Couldn't you invite me
to a family dinner?
Well, we're really not much
for socializing.
Wouldn't have to be anything fancy,
just whatever you eat normally.
What do you eat, normally?
Or I'll bring the meaI myself.
You could lock up your dog
and I'll come spend the evening.
We'll see.
Whenever my dad said that,
it meant no.
When I was in high schooI,
I made nothing but A's.
You're surprised at that, aren't you?
Now, this is the heeI command.
You think I'm kind of,
like, not an intellect.
- I know you're surprised.
- No, I'm not.
Now, he's supposed
to match his pace to anything I do.
Slow, fast,