anything else to say to me today?
What would you like me
to say, Sam?
Come on now, honey.
You're gonna miss the bus.
Have a good day.
I can't believe this.
They fucking
forgot my birthday.
~~
I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.
They just didn't remember it
right away. Same difference.
It's a drag your sweet 16's the
day before Ginny gets married.
But big deal. They'll remember.
Oh, easy for you to say.
Did anyone ever forget your birthday? Come on, Sam.
Everything's getting shittier. My family forgetting
my birthday just makes it more vivid.
What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?
No, but they could have at least said "happy
birthday." It was just like any other day.
Why don't you remind them?
They'll feel some massive guilt.
It could be highly profitable.
I wouldn't stoop
to remind them.
Since I was about 1 2, I've been looking
forward to my sweet 16.
You know, a big party and a band,
with tons of people. Tons of people.
And a big Trans Am in the
driveway with a ribbon around it.
And some incredibly gorgeous
guy that you meet in France.
And you do it on a cloud without
getting pregnant or herpes.
I don't need the cloud.
Just a pink Trans Am and the guy, right?
A black one.
A black guy?
A black Trans Am. A pink guy. [Laughing]
[Bell Ringing] [Together] Oh, no.
[Woman]
' To those nice, nice nights '
'I remember always always '
'I got such a fright '
'Seeing them in my dark cupboard '
' With my great big cake '
- 'lf they were me If they were me ' - [Yawning]
'And I was you
And I was you '
'lf they were me
If they were me '
'And I was you
And I was you '
'lf they were me
and I was you '
' Would you have liked
a present too '
'Happy, happy birthday
in a hot bath '
' To those nice, nice nights '
'I remember always always '
'I got such a fright '
'Seeing them in my dark cupboard '
' With my great big cake '
'lf they were me
If they were me '
'And I was you
And I was you '
'lf they were me
If they were me '
'And I was you
And I was you '
'lf they were me and I was you '
[Sighing]
' Would you have liked
a present too '
'Happy birthday
Happy birthday '
'Happy birthday
Happy birthday '
' Happy birthday
Happy birthday '
' Happy birthday Happy birthday ' [Sighs]
[Snoring Softly]
' Happy birthday
Happy birthday '
' Happy birthday
Happy birthday '
You swear to God, you don't have
it? I don't know anything about it.
Jennifer Woods gave me a sex
test during child development.
And I was supposed to do it and pass
it to you in independent study.
[Sighing] I'm totally screwed.
Did you put your name on it?
Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.
I had to name who I'd do it with if I ever did it.
Who'd you name?
Jake Ryan. Jake Ryan? He doesn't even know you exist.
Thank you. That's
a very nice thing to say.
I'm sorry.
ButJake Ryan?
He's a senior, and he's taken. I mean, really taken.
I know. It was
supposed to be my ideal.
He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.
God, I hope whoever got the note
doesn't know it was me who wrote it.
I'd shit twice and die.
Do you know
Samantha Baker?
Sophomore, right?
Yeah. What do
you think of her?
I don't.
Would you ever
go out with her?
Depends on how much
you paid me.
She's not ugly.
There's nothin'
there, man.
It's not ugly.
It's just... void.
You know what I mean? There's somethin' about her.
I do independent study with her.
I catch her lookin' at me a lot.
It's kinda cool, the way
she's always lookin' at me.
Maybe she's retarded.
I'm bein' serious, okay?
She looks at me like
she's in love with me.
Jake,
she's a child.
So? So what're you gonna do with her?
She's obviously too young to party serious.
Maybe I'm interested
in more than