Do you wanna come in?
Thanks.
Hah.
So, Gary, would you like some tea?
I was just about to make a cup.
You know, Maggie, me and Rick
were real good friends.
Yeah, I-I know that, Gary.
Last winter, fishin' on Lake Kachuga,
we fell through the ice together.
I lost two toes.
Yeah, Rick told me about that.
Point is, if Rick could talk,
you know what I think he'd say?
I think he'd say ol' Gary
ought to get first shot.
At what?
You. First shot.
I mean, now that you're single.
Well, wait a minute. Whoa.
You came here to hit on me?
Oh, I'm not afraid...
even if you are poison.
Hell, I been alone so long,
I'd be happy with two good weeks.
Rick's not even buried yet.
Well, I could wait a couple days
if you'd feel more comfortable.
I want you to leave right now.
There's electricity up at my place
and my pickup's all paid for.
Go!
Okay.
just one thing-
I lent Rick my set of crescent wrenches.
Get out! Now! Go!
When I heard about Rick, first thing
I thought was, "Klaatu barada nikto,''
those immortal words
which toggled off the robot Gort
in The Day the Earth Stood Still.
You know, when that movie was made,
robots werejust stuff of fiction.
But, hey, not anymore,
with artificial intelligence...
and robotics, bio-implants.
Not only are we making smart machines,
we're becoming smart machines.
So what's all this got to do with Rick,
you ask?
Well, I'm just thinking he might be
the next step in this evolutionary process.
Dig this: Yesterday,
when NASA's sweet flower
of the imagination married Rick,
he crossed the line
between man and machine.
He became the future-
Homo Novus, the new man.
Think about that.
Hey, boss, what's up?
I brought you some things from home.
I'm not going to be needing 'em anymore.
Oh, yeah? Thanks.
Yeah. Pasta maker,
Cuisinart, soufflй dish.
Wait a second.
This is all your gourmet stuff.
From now on, I'm sticking to barbecue.
Huh!
Fondue pot.
Boy, I've had some good times
with this baby.
Maurice, I don't have a kitchen.
Well, you might someday.
And let me just say this:
All the great chefs in the worid...
were notorious womanizers,
real skirt-chasers.
You know what I'm talking about?
No, I don't think so.
Well, they were.
Do you like, uh, Judy Garland?
How 'bout Gwen Verdon?
All right. What's goin' on?
Chris, when I mention show tunes
to you, what-what image does that
conjure up in your mind?
Homosexuals, I guess.
- There you go!
- What do you- Is that what this is about?
Two deviants whom I unsuspectingly
invited into my home...
deduced from my things-
things of beauty- things that I
used to get innocent pleasure from,
that I was, in fact, a fellow traveler.
Maurice Minnifield has never had
an impure thought about another man
in his life!
Well, there-there was one...
unsettling dream where I was
wrestling with David Niven.
But I-I swear to you, nothing happened.
I will not be perceived by anybody as anything
other than a dyed-in-the-wool hetero!
You know what?
- You better hold on to this stuff.
- You haven't been listening
to a word I've said, have you?
Yes, I have. And the thing is, Maurice,
you don't wanna appear to be overreacting.
All right? You wanna present an image
of a man who's very comfortable
with his sexuality.
just what in the hell
are you talking about?
Men who are freaked by homosexuals,
they usually have tendencies
in that direction themselves.
Now, don't you start in on me!
There's no hidden agenda here!
This is legitimate outrage.
Now, if you don't want this stuff, fine.
Fine. I'll find somebody who does.
Is there something
I can help you with, Shelly?
Uh, you got any history books?
Yeah, right over here
next to theosophy.
It's been a long time
since I've been in a library.
My junior year
I had detention in the library.
But I just sat there.
Oh, here's a good book-
Lucretia Mott, Her Story.
She was one of
the early suffragettes.
Hmm. Did she do her suffering
in