upset.
You want to know why, Ed?
I'll tell you. As a physician,
I realize that sexual release...
is not crucial to human survival-
say, like water or oxygen-
but when a healthy, 28-year-old male
is deprived of that release,
he has an awful hard time
enjoying his survival.
It's the meltdown.
I admit, I have been
unusually preoccupied,
even obsessed with carnal desires,
but let me suggest the primary cause
is not this meltdown.
The fact that I have been stuck
in this godforsaken place for 10 months,
and in this time I have not once-
n- not once, not one time-
had intimate relations
with the opposite sex.
Ohh.
Yeah, "Ohh.''
Well, if you'd like,
I can help.
Help? What?
You have a secret pool of women?
Your own private stockpile?
- I know a girl.
- A girl?
Yeah.
No, that's okay, Ed.
That's very nice of you.
Very nice, but no thanks.
She's pretty.
Yeah, I'm sure she is. Really.
I'm sure she's very attractive, beautiful.
But I can find my own giris. Okay?
Thanks anyways.
Okay.
Bye, Dr. Fleischman.
"But Max stepped into his private boat
and waved good-bye.
"And sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks...
"and through a day.
"And into the night
of his very own room...
"where he found his supper
waiting for him.
And it was still hot.''
Thank you, Mr. Sendak.
Thank you for reminding us...
that we should never, ever
lose touch with that wild and
untamable spirit within us all.
You know, mayhem's
gotten a bad rap, and chaos
is taking it on the chin...
in these pathologically
normal and rational times.
Even up here in Alaska, we're turning
our back on the beast.
We've opted for the zoo,
where the lion can't eat you,
instead of the jungle, where he can.
Quelle dommage.
What a drag.
Come in!
- Maurice Minnifield?
- Yes?
Sergeant Semanski.
Well, how 'bout that?
I drove in from Sourdough.
500 miles.
Much obliged.
Pulled me off a 905-R.
Rabies suspect. Brown bear.
They lost it in a trailer park.
No kiddin'.
Pulled me off for this:
Stolen radio?
Well, actually,
there was more than one.
I don't believe in giving anyone
any preferential treatment,
no matter who they know.
I don't like it
when people pull strings.
Well, I didn't pull any strings.
Maybe tugged 'em a little bit.
I'll need to ask you some questions.
Sure. Anything.
Oh, but I would like to say one thing.
No matter how it happened,
I'm glad you're here.
The people of Cicely will sleep a lot
better knowing you're on the case.
Mm-hmm.
?Everybody got to live?
?And nobody got to die?
Holling, I asked for C&C.
This is gin.
So?
I'll drink it.
No, no, come on, now.
You ordered C&C.
You oughta get C&C.
Get mad! Start somethin'!
I'm fine.
You're my last chance, Steve.
You don't understand.
All year long,
I go without so much
as hurtin' a housefly.
But just this once.
just this one time,
I need to cause some pain.
I need to feel my fist...
smashing into a mouthful of teeth.
I need to hurt somebody.
I would like to help you out,
Holling, I would, but...
I got a $500 deductible
on my medical insurance.
Maggie!
Shelly, hi!
Hi. What'd you make?
Lasagna.
Mm. Yummy.
I made lasagna too.
So'd Ruth-Anne. So'd Gary.
So'd Chris.
Oh. Do you have a knife?
Yeah.
I don't believe it, Fleischman.
You cooked something.
Yup.
jell-O.
You really put yourself out.
Hey.
A lot of people like Jell-O.
Besides, it's the only alternative
to all that lasagna out there.
Besides, what'd you cook?
Tuna casserole.
What are you doing?
Putting bananas into the Jell-O.
What does it look like I'm doing?
Well, Fleischman, usually you
put the bananas in the Jell-O
before it gets hard.
Oh, excuse me. You have
the Jell-O regulation book.
I've been lookin' everywhere.
Fleischman, can't
you take a little criticism?
How did you ever
get through med school?
Th-That question
is-is so ridiculous.
So stupid. Maybe you're getting
too much radiation in that airplane.
Maybe your