Would you like
to be the first signature?
You know, it's pretty early.
You might wake some people up.
Yeah.
Let's go, Max.
You know, that's a perfect example
of a father-son relationship.
Well, that was the grandfather.
It's the same difference.
Generational, you know.
Heart-to-heart talks,
yakkin' about the verities of life.
My favourite along that line
was Bonanza.
Old Ben Cartwright.
There was a family man.
Raised those boys to be men.
Hoss.
Little Joe.
- The bald guy.
- Pernell Roberts.
Yeah, that's right.
Anyway, do you know why they stuck
together through thick and thin?
Hm?
Because they could count
on each other, that's why.
Just like on the Richard Kiley show here.
When those kids needed their granddad,
they knew right where to look for him,
right there at that kitchen table.
They could talk to him
about anything on their minds -
school, sports, nuclear war.
He covered all bases.
You see what I'm gettin' at?
Oh, yeah.
- Well, anyway...
- I gotta go.
- I gotta get goin'.
- What, do you have plans?
- Yeah, I got a date.
- Oh, well, that's fine, son.
Um...
Do you need any pocket change
or any money for gas?
- No. I'm OK.
- Oh, well.
Oh, remember, son...
seeds sprout.
- Chris, honey, what's wrong?
- This isn't working.
- Well, what's the matter?
- I don't know.
I keep thinkin' of sprouts.
I just... I can't do it.
It's OK.
You got troubles at home?
Yeah.
Uh, excuse me.
Morning, Ed.
Come on in.
I checked around.
No sign of Jesse.
- What?
- Yeah, he's gone.
- Must have sensed us and scrammed.
- Damn.
- It's not your fault, Holling.
- I had him in my sights
and I let him get away.
- Mm, it's all right.
- Yeah, Holling. He'll be back.
If the enemy comes into your territory,
it means somethin'.
It was a challenge.
- And I failed to meet it.
- That's not true.
You sucked it up and prepared to meet
that bear face to face. Right, Ed?
- Right.
- I'm so proud of you, Holling.
Proud to say that you are my man.
Ed, grab Holling's Sure Shot.
I want a picture to remember this by.
Remember the time we faced
the enemy head-on, together,
and lived to tell about it.
Oh...
Now?
Yeah, you're not bad at all.
- What's the deal here?
- It's real simple. You just whack the ball.
- No, I don't mean "what", I mean "why".
- What do you mean, "why"?
- Why are we dressed like this?
- Chris...
you can't go through life as a Minnifield
thinkin' that arm wrestling's where it's at.
Now, croquet was invented
by the English over 100 years ago.
It falls under the category
of your lawn games.
Maurice, come on.
I got starch in my collar.
- Yeah, it's all part of the programme, son.
- What programme?
Chris, I can't give you
the benefit of my genes,
but I can and I will expose you
to the finer things in life.
I don't know, you know.
I don't know about this.
What would you rather do?
Play polo?
No, I don't think I wanna play polo. I just
wanna keep doin' what I've been doin'.
I know it's not much
for the Minnifield standard but...
it's been OK for the Stevens line.
We're talking about
a different brand of lineage here.
Now, no disrespect intended,
but, um...
you were spawned
by a couple of brier-hoppers.
Now, when you step up to the Minnifield
line, it's a whole different matter.
Step up to the ball, whack it, and see if it
doesn't make your blood feel a little bluer.
No, no, no, no!
Not like you're squattin'
on the can.
Bend your knees.
Bend your knees.
Keep your back straight.
Good, good. OK.
Well, that's kinda piddly,
but it's a start.
No, it's, uh...
Let's finish.
- What? What do you mean?
- I tried it. I don't like it.
- You're quitting?
- That's right.
- Well, Minnifields are not quitters!
- Well, guess what.
The Stevenses are. We quit everything,
if you haven't heard. School, work.
You name it. The only thing
we don't quit is drinking.
- Consider yourself grounded, young man!
- Well, stick it between your