- That's right.
She was a Baitmate.
Bait magazine.
She was featured.
I get the hang of it.
In the April issue.
No, Mr Silly. February!
My name is April.
Don't tell me. Your favourite movies are
The Sound of Music and Yes, Giorgio.
You love to go bobbing for apples.
Your major turn-offs are...
anchovies, people
who don't use coasters and...
And men who smoke in public places.
Let's go meet Jerry.
There's Jerry over there.
I'm gonna have a place
like this someday.
Dream on, Streebek, dream on.
It's about time.
I called you cops three hours ago.
Yes, sir. My name's Friday.
This is Detective Streebek.
What's missing?
How about the entire run...
every single copy of our
25th Anniversary double issue of Bait.
- Bait.
- That's his skin magazine.
You say.
The intelligent subscriber regards it...
as a politically-oriented,
socially-impacted monthly.
I'm not gonna allow a gang
of cement heads to intimidate me...
just because I refused to publish
their stupid manifesto.
- Tell us about that.
- Here. Read it for yourself.
"Manifest of the International
Brotherhood of Pagan.
We believe bad sex and good drugs are
the cornerstone of a great democracy.
- The peak of pornography..."
- We get the general idea.
My publishing company is not a
private platform for a bunch of yahoos.
I don't care how many copies
they buy.
I don't have to publish their junk just
because they got 1st amendment rights.
I've got 1st amendment rights, too.
Look 'em up.
I don't have.
I can quote 'em to you.
Anyhow, how much do you figure
a monthly run of your...
"magazine" is worth?
It's more money than you'll ever see
in your life. And I do that every month.
My money's clean.
I'll tell you what you do before you go
home and start polishing your pennies.
Go out and get my magazines
back on the stand where they belong.
Listen, hotshot, I don't care for you or
the putrid sludge you're trowelling out.
But until the laws are changed,
my job's to get back your boxes of smut.
Since I'll be doing it holding my nose,
I'll be doing it with one hand.
Excuse me. Jerry, it's time
for your collagen treatment.
And don't forget, you're having
your pores sucked at 3:00.
Thank you, Sylvia.
Boys, as you can see,
I've got my work to do.
Why don't you get the hell out of here
and do yours?
You have very strong hands.
Hey, Sylvia Wiss!
Yes, that's me.
They oughta transfer you to
Missing Persons. You know everybody.
Don't you read the papers? Saturday is
Bait magazine's 25th anniversary party.
Caesar is reuniting all
of his former Baitmates.
Miss Sylvia Wiss, right here,
was the very first Baitmate ever.
Fascinating.
Sergeant, if I asked your honest opinion
about something, would I get it?
You can bet the house on it.
Would you say these look like
the breasts of a 43-year-old woman?
No. No, they don't, Miss Wiss.
They're quite impressive,
bordering on spectacular.
We have to be running along now.
What's your hurry?
Wouldn't you like to have
an early lunch?
Listen, Joe,
it's the darndest thing.
I seem to have
left my notebook in the car.
It's gonna take me 15, 20 min...
A half an hour to find it.
Why don't you pump Sylvia privately
for information?
And I'II, you know...
- Nice meeting you, Miss Wiss.
- I had a good time, too.
Come on. Let's go to the car
and find that notebook.
Are you crazy?
Sylvia Wiss wanted you.
Let me tell you something.
There are two things which differentiate
the human species from animals.
One, we use cutlery.
Two, we can control our sexual urges.
You might be an exception, but don't
drag me into your private hell.
You've got a lot
of repressed feelings, don't you?
Must be what keeps your hair up.
- What is bothering you besides me?
- I'm thinking about those Pagans.
If all they were after was revenge
against Caesar, it's slime versus slime.
But when they attack great institutions
like our city zoo, my hackles turn red.
You'll lose