when mixed properly,
form a liquid fertilizer that burns...
the throat, eyes, lungs, and nose,
and could cause vomiting and death.
We're just about to eat here!
Reverend Whirley, please accept
our most sincere apologies.
Sergeant, you will remove
those handcuffs immediately.
Then you will hand in your badge.
You are relieved from duty.
But... But...
But, Commissioner...
Now!
Yes, sir. Ma'am.
I don't care.
I'm absolutely humiliated.
I know the young man was overzealous,
but he springs from a great tradition.
Commissioner, won't you please
change your mind?
I'm afraid I'll have to take
your badge and gun.
- If we could just please...
- I don't want to discuss it!
Just hand them over.
Look, Joe, don't worry. I'm still
on active duty. I'm building a case.
You're building nothin'.
If I ever hear you've come
within one mile of Reverend Whirley...
I'll have your badge for breakfast!
- Understood?
- Yes, sir.
It was very nice of you to try
and take us out to dinner, Joe.
Yeah. Thanks, Joe, for everything.
Let's not stand around here moping.
I'm hungry! Let's go for chili dogs.
Granny, have you ever eaten a chili dog
off the back of a motorcycle?
Not till now.
You smooth-talking son of a gun.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I'm very sorry
you lost your job, Joe.
I really did have
a very good time.
I'm glad, Connie.
Now, fasten your seat belt.
I can still effect a citizen's arrest.
I don't want to ruin a wonderful evening
by bringing you in on a misdemeanour.
That was a joke.
Oh.
Oh, Joe!
Look at the stars!
Dozens of them.
You know, when I was a little girl...
I used to wish upon
a different star every night...
for that special someone to come along.
Someone with whom
I could share...
everything.
I guess that's not so unusual.
All girls do that, don't they, Joe?
Some guys do, too, Connie.
- Joe?
- That's me.
Was there ever...
anyone else?
Of course there was.
Oh.
Actually, I've only been driving
with Streebek a couple of days.
- Before that I was with Frank.
- That's not what I meant.
- [Banging]
- [Screaming]
Goodness! Earthquake! It's the big one!
Joe, help!
Request Code 3.
Officer in distress.
Assist officer.
I'll handle this. Calm down.
- [Gasping]
- [Shotgun Pump Clicking]
January 9, 8:37 a.m.
My name's Streebek.
I'm a cop.
I overslept.
Curiously enough, I still hadn't heard
from my anal-retentive ex-partner...
although I was sure he'd be proud to
know I was making a concerted effort...
to personally develop
a close relationship...
with one of my sisters
in the Los Angeles Police Department.
I placed a call
to the virgin Connie Swail...
but according to the girl's mother,
she hadn't come home either.
I don't know what to say, Mrs. Swail.
I'm beginning to be concerned myself.
No, Joe Friday has never
stayed out all night, either.
The day he was born,
his mother had him home by 9:00.
Well, let's both stay in touch
in case we hear from them.
Thank you, Mrs. Swail.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm gonna be late for my stake-out.
As enchanting as Robin was...
I still couldn't get my mind off
what happened to Joe Friday.
For one misguided moment...
I actually pictured my ex-partner
introducing that little cupcake...
to the one piece of equipment that
wasn't issued to him by the department.
But then I realized Joe would never
spring for the price of a motel room.
And since having sex in a Yugo
was a logistical impossibility...
I came to the conclusion
that something must be wrong.
Who cares?
Listen to me, Captain.
Joe Friday was the most dedicated cop
in this city.
Okay, so maybe all his dogs
aren't attached to one leash.
He's thickheaded, insensitive
and reactionary.
And generally less fun to be around
than any person I've ever met.
Still, he was my partner.
You want to find Joe Friday?
My advice is to start checking out
the sanitariums.
- Hey, Pep.
- What's shaking?
- Hey, you!
- Me, Pep?
Detective Streebek