out.
Except I wouldn't
pull it out, you would.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
By the way,
when you're telling
these little stories,
here's a good idea.
Have a point.
It makes it more interesting
for the listener.
You want to hurt me?
Go ahead if it
makes you feel better.
I'm an easy target.
Yeah, you're right.
I talk too much.
I also listen too much.
I could be a cold-hearted
cynic like you,
but I don't like to
hurt people's feelings.
Well, you think
what you want about me.
I'm not changing.
I like... I like me.
My wife likes me.
My customers like me.
'Cause I'm the real article.
What you see
is what you get.
# I'm back
in baby's arms #
# How I miss
those lovin' arms #
# I am back
where I belong #
# Back in baby's arms #
# Don't know
why we quarreled #
# We never did before #
# Since we found out
how it hurts... ##
Del.
Hmm? Yeah.
Why did you kiss my ear?
Why are you holding my hand?
Where's your other hand?
Between two pillows.
Those aren't pillows!
Aah!
Oh, no!
Ooh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
See that Bears' game
last week?
Hell of a game.
They're going all the way.
Ohh, yeow.
Neal, take my socks
out of the sink
if you're going
to brush your teeth.
Where are you?
I'm in Wichita.
I'm at a motel
with this guy
I met on the plane.
You shared a motel room
with a stranger?
Are you crazy?
I'm getting there.
Did you call the airline?
I have a good chance
of getting on standby.
If they told you
wolverines make
good house pets,
would you believe them?
I'm not spending
Thanksgiving in Wichita.
I'll get home.
Mmm.
Not by airplane.
They got 18 hours of air traffic
backed up.
We're going to be having
our turkey roll
right here.
If we wait
for the flight.
How else can we get home?
Burt Dingman.
He works for the railroad.
I sold them all their
shower curtain rings.
He owes me a favor.
I'll get that.
I paid for everything else.
Why break precedent?
You're making me feel
like a freeloader.
Get me on the train,
we're square.
You got it.
That's the easy part.
What?
You know goddamn well what.
I'm sorry. I don't.
I had over
$ 700 in here.
I'm a lot of things,
but I'm not a thief.
You went into my stuff
last night, right?
I didn't take your money.
I had over $ 700.
You went into
my wallet for pizza.
Just maybe
when you went into...
Count it!
Like you'd keep it
in there.
There's $263 in there.
If there's more,
you can call me a thief.
Count it!
263, right?
Empty.
What?
We were robbed.
Do you think so?
I've been thinking.
What we're dealing with
is a smalltime crook.
He didn't take
the credit cards,
so we charge
our way home.
I've got a Visa
and a gasoline card.
Oh, and a Neiman-Marcus card
in case we want
to buy a gift.
What have you got?
Chalmer's Big and Tall
Men's Shoppe,
a seven-outlet chain in
the Pacific Northwest.
Unfortunately,
it does us no good here.
Get me to the train station,
and I'll take care
of everything else.
Gus' son is picking us up.
This is not him, is it?
Gee, I hope not.
Are you Gus' son?
I'm Owen.
[Grunts]
You the shower
curtain fella?
Yeah. Yeah.
Del Griffith.
How are you?
This is Neal Page
from Chicago.
Hi.
Pleased to meet you both.
[Grunts]
I'm to drive you to Wichita
to catch a train?
Yeah, we'd appreciate it.
Train don't run
out of Wichita.
'Lessen you're a hog
or cattle.
[Grunts]
People train
runs out of Stubbville.
That'll be fine.
That'll be just fine.
Leave it be.
Get your lazy behind out here
and put that in back.
No. We've got it.
It's very heavy.
She don't mind.
She's short and skinny,
but she's strong.
Her first baby...
come out sideways.
She didn't scream
or nothing.
Isn't that something?
You're a real trooper.
We've got it already.
It's done.
You know, Stubbville's
a little further than Wichita.
How much further?
30 miles.
Maybe 40.
No more
than 45 though,
depending
on how he goes.
It could be anywhere
up to 70 miles.
Woof! Woof!
[