We made pretty good time. Dad, didn't they invent Christmas tree lots... ...so people don't have to drive way out to nowhere and waste a Saturday? They invented 'em... ...because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. They're satisfied with scrawny, dead, overpriced trees with no special meaning. My toes are numb. This is what our forefathers did. I can't feel my leg. They walked out into the woods, picked out that special tree... ...and they cut it down with their bare hands. Mom, I can't feel my hips. - Clark? - Yes, honey? Audrey's frozen from the waist down. That's all part of the experience, honey. There it is. The Griswold family Christmas tree. Isn't it a little big? It's not big, it's just full. That thing wouldn't fit in our yard. It's not going in our yard, Russ. It's going in our living room. - Look at it. - It really is beautiful, Clark. - It's something else, huh, Russ? - Yeah, Dad. Isn't it a beaut, Audrey? She'll see it later, honey. Her eyes are frozen. The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in... ...the warm embrace of kith and kin. This tree is a symbol of the spirit of the Griswold family Christmas. Did you bring a saw? Looks like the toad overestimated the height of his ceiling. Hey, Griswold! Where will you put a tree that big? Bend over and I'll show you. You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that. I wasn't talking to you. Do you think there's enough room for the angel? Sure, honey. I have a little more trimming to do, but that won't be a problem. Ready? I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree. There's a lot of sap in here. It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap. Did I tell you I talked to my mother today? They've decided they're coming for Christmas, too. It's not too late to change our plans... No, no, that's great. I think you're forgetting how difficult it's gonna be... ...having everybody in the house at the same time. They're family, not strangers off the street. All they do is argue. Christmas is about resolving differences... ...and seeing through the petty problems of family life. And it's about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs. And your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip, and... ...then they don't speak to... - Your mother waxes her upper lip? She has for years. It doesn't show. I don't know, Sparky, I just have this feeling it's not... I want to have Christmas here, in our house. It means a lot to me. All my life I've wanted to have a big family Christmas. It's just that you build things up in your mind, Sparky. You set standards no family event can ever live up to. When have I ever done that? Parties. Weddings. - Good night, honey. - Anniversaries. Funerals. Holidays. Vacations. Graduations. Guess you'll be lookin' at a nice fat Christmas bonus this year, huh? Word is you're an excellent choice to be named... ...Food Additive Designer of the Year. - Nah... - I'm not kidding. What's that new thing you got over there at Food 'N' Dry? The crunch enhancer? That's a non-nutritive cereal varnish. It's semi-permeable. It's not osmotic. What it does is, it coats and seals the flake. It prevents the milk from penetrating it. Yeah, it's a beautiful product. I like it. What are you gonna do with that big bonus check? You're gonna blow it on yourself, I hope. Me? Heck, no. Take a look at this. I just hope my Christmas bonus check will cover it. Oh, my God. You're putting in a pool. I went ahead and I put a $7,500 deposit down on it. You're the last true family man. Mark. Clark. That's Bill, sir. Are you the one who's working on that non-nutritive cereal varnish? Yes, sir. I've got to give a speech to a trade group. I'd like to mention it. Write up a brief summary and have it to me by the end of the day. My pleasure. Layman's terms. None of that inside, bullshit ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Оружейный барон на английском - текст Волшебная лампа Аладдина на английском - текст Окраина на английском - текст Пастораль на английском - текст Приключения Бакару Банзая в восьмом измерении на английском |