in love with it.
We're taking it with us
when we leave here next month.
Get Ed Leftic up here
to look over these figures!
Retooling. That's a great excuse.
Retooling?! I'll retool you!
Mr. Shirley, Merry Christmas.
Who's that?
It's me, Clark Griswold.
What do you want?
My wife and I just came up with
a little something special. It's a gift.
Put it over there
with the others, Greaseball.
By the way, I hope my report helped out
at the trade show.
I'm sure it did, Grisball.
If you'll excuse me,
I'm in the middle of an important call.
Get me somebody.
Anybody.
And get me somebody while I'm waiting.
This is a new non-caloric,
silicon-based kitchen lubricant...
...my company's been working on.
It creates a surface 500 times
more slippery than cooking oil.
We'll fly down the hill with this stuff.
Has anyone ever used it on a sled?
Not that I know of.
Don't go puttin' none of that stuff
on my sled, Clark.
- You know the metal plate in my head?
- How could I forget it.
I had it replaced. Every time
Catherine raved up the microwave...
...l'd piss in my pants
and forget who I was.
Over at the V.A., they had it replaced
with a plastic one.
That ain't as strong, so...
I shouldn't go sailing down a hill...
...with nothing between
the ground and my brain...
...but a piece of government plastic.
You really think it matters, Eddie?
The plate runs right underneath my part.
Over here is nothing, but...
...if this gets dented,
then my hair just ain't going to look right.
I know the feeling.
I better try this first. See how it works.
Be careful there, Clark.
Nothing to worry about, Eddie.
Going for a new, amateur-recreational-
saucer-sled land-speed record...
Clark W. Griswold, Junior!
Remember, don't try this at home, kids.
I am a professional.
Later, dudes.
Let her rip. Hang ten.
It's great! I'm dead!
Bingo.
- You're staying late?
- Hi, Bill.
Yeah. Just...
...finishing up a few things.
Last day of the year for me.
Have a really Merry Christmas.
You, too.
You okay?
Yeah.
Bill, did you get your bonus yet?
Just talked to my son.
Company messenger just brought
something to my house.
Nothing like waiting
till the last minute, huh?
You get yours?
If it isn't at the house,
I'm sure it must be on its way.
If I don't get that bonus,
I'm in it up to here.
Don't sweat it. It'll come.
Merry Christmas.
Same to you.
"'Mele Kalikimaka' is the thing to say
"On a bright Hawaiian
"Christmas day.
"That's the island greeting
"That we send to you
From the land
"Where palm trees sway.
"Here we know that Christmas
"Will be green and bright
"The sun to shine by day
"And all the stars at night.
"'Mele Kalikimaka' is Hawaii's way
"To say 'Merry Christmas' to you."
Santy Claus?
Uncle Clark, are you Santy Claus?
What?
What? You scared me.
No, I'm not Santa Claus.
I wish I was.
What are you doing up, sweetheart?
Rocky bit my thumb.
Him's nervous
because Christmas is almost here.
Nervous or excited?
Shittin' bricks.
You shouldn't use that word.
Sorry. Shittin' rocks.
Him's nervous because he don't know
if he's gettin' nothin'.
I don't think he should be nervous,
and you shouldn't be, either.
'Cause if you're good, Santa knows it.
If you believe in him and in your mom...
...and you believe in...
...your dad...
...and you've been good all year round,
Santa Claus will bring you something.
Sometimes I think
all that Santa crap is just bull.
If he was so real, how come
we didn't get squat last year?
We didn't do nothin' wrong
and we still got the shaft.
Well, I happen to know for a fact
that Santa Claus is real.
And in the next couple of days...
...somehow, I'm gonna prove it to you.
Every year, he comes to our house.
I've seen him.
It's true?
Cross my heart.
It's a good idea you came to stay with us.
I love it here. You don't gotta put on
your coat to go to the bathroom.
And your house is always parked
in the same place.
I think you