Clark!
Todd! What's that light?!
Clark!
Honey, I think I know what's wrong.
I can't see.
No, no, no...
Oh, my God...
This ought to do it.
Ellen, I fixed it!
Oh, God!
Everybody! Come out quick!
Look at the lights!
- Get a towel.
- Okay!
- Wait a minute. I don't believe this!
- What's all the yelling about?
What?! But...
What's going on here?
Twenty-five thousand twinkle lights.
- What's he doing, Clark?
- I haven't the foggiest.
What?
What the hell? What is wrong with this?
Damn it! Damn it!
You goddamn light!
Go! Go! Do it!
Dad, it's beautiful!
Oh, my carpet!
- Oh, Clark, it's so lovely.
- Mom.
You deserve a home like this
to spend Christmas in.
- It's a beaut, Clark. It's a beaut.
- Dad, Dad, Dad.
You taught me everything
I know about exterior illumination.
Thank you, thank you.
Russ. Audrey.
Dear, dear Francis.
I hope this adds to your enjoyment
of the holidays.
- It's just wonderful.
- Yeah.
Arthur. Art.
Dad.
- Thanks for being here.
- The little lights are not twinkling.
I know, Art, and thanks for noticing.
The house sure does look swell, Clark.
Thanks, Eddie. I hope it enhances
your holiday spirit. Dear Cathrine.
Eddie?
- Oh, the house is gorgeous, Clark.
- Eddie?
I hope you didn't do this
all on our account, Clark.
Kids, come on out here and see what
Uncle Clark's done to the house.
Eddie?
Eddie?
Yeah. If you don't remember,
this here is Rocky.
- You got a kiss for me?
- Better take a rain check on that, Art.
He's got a lip fungus
they ain't identified yet.
- You remember Ruby Sue?
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, my gosh!
- Her eyes aren't crossed anymore.
- That's something, ain't it?
Falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets
kicked by a mule, they go back to normal.
I don't know.
And this here's our pride and joy. Snots.
Pretty name, Ed.
We named him that
because he's got this sinus condition.
Snots, you roll over and let
Uncle Clark scratch your belly.
You ain't never seen a set on a dog
like this one's got, Clark.
That's okay, Eddie.
That's something, ain't it?
You pet him on the belly...
.. and he'll love you till the day you die.
I really shouldn't.
My hands are all chapped.
We were gonna call, but Eddie
wanted to make it a surprise.
- Yeah. You surprised?
- Surprised, Eddie?
If I woke up with my head sewn to
the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised.
We have plenty of room.
We have plenty of towels.
We have plenty of everything.
We're pretty well set up here in the RV.
It's a little tight...
.. but we didn't come to impose.
- Hell, there's plenty of room.
Quit being so damn polite, Ed.
Cathrine and I, we're pretty
comfy in there, you know.
But maybe you wouldn't mind
the youngsters shacking up with you.
After that long drive, we could
use a little private time together.
Why don't you get the kids' things? Don't
forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.
Come on. I wanna show you the home.
Audrey, help me get some
hot chocolate. It's cold.
That's a honey of a tree, Clark.
Is it real?
Yeah. Yeah, I dug it out
of the ground myself.
- Is that a fact?
- Hey, get out of there. Snots! Yo!
Don't worry about it, Clark.
A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him.
Before we left, he drank
a half a quart of Pennzoil.
Boy, when he lifted his leg
the next morning...
If he drinks the water, the tree's
gonna dry up. Come on, out of there.
- Snots.
- Out, out, out.
Get out of there.
Get in the kitchen now.
Get in the kitchen there and get
you something to eat. Go on.
He's cute, ain't he? Problem is, he's got
a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.
If the mood catches him right, he'll
grab your leg and just go to town.
Don't want him around if you're wearing
short pants, if you know what I mean.
A word of warning, though. If he does lay
into you, it's best to just let him finish.
I can't believe you're actually standing
here in my living room, Eddie.
- Never thought the day would come.
- Yeah, I'm