are bad.
I can't get money out of Louis
unless I dissolve Parliament
and I can't get money out of Parliament
unless I fight Louis.
Well, choose.
Ineed money from both of them.
You spoke of a big challenge.
Louis's sent in a new ambassador.
Cultivated type.
Here's my plan.
Your great work,
we stage it to welcome him to London.
Big gesture of friendship.
And we show we're better than they are.
A spectacle with some really profound writing.
You're the man for it.
Will you do it for me?
At Betterton's next spring
when the season's finished.
You're desperate.
What we need to celebrate is life itself.
Well, I'm obviously the man for that.
Good. I'll send Chiffinch
to talk to you about the money.
Costumes, settings, something really splendid.
Splendid, yes.
And unusual.
There, John.
Fruit.
Fruit from South America... growing here.
Dazzles the mind.
Do you see what can be done
with knowledge and application?
"I eat to swive and swive to eat again. "
Ink! Ink!
Bring me ink!
Not "drink", lump. Ink!
Alcock, did I not leave you in the country?
I walked back, my lord.
Back again?
Back again.
Sceptres bear. Fear.
I'm worried. This French business
couldn't be more important.
What's he doing?
He's writing.
- For the first time since I've known him
- But what?
Sublime thoughts.
Philosophy in verse.
I believe he is on the verge of greatness.
You've read some?
He shares everything with me.
You should wear more jewellery.
I cannot provide for i on my wages
CHARLES ll: Does not the Earl provide?
The Earl is not one of life's providers.
But the King is.
If you want the best, you may receive it from me.
I shall be everything you wish me to be.
I wish you to be my eyes and ears
on his earlship.
I am his lover.
But I am your true subject.
Then you'll serve me in this matter?
Yes, I will.
And we shall both... profit.
Does the writing of the play go well, my lord?
Alcock, try not to be a cunt.
We will do this until you get it right.
My lord, Alice Twooney has sent word.
Her child is sick and she shan't come.
What was to be her role?
- She was playing little Clytoris.
- Of course
Alcock!
- This is your moment. You will stand in for her.
- No, my lord.
- I beg your pardon.
- I'm Alcock.
Little Clytoris is beyond my range.
Molly.
I am not a visible person.
Do not cross me.
Madam, your dildos
are not to compare with what I've seen.
Indeed, they're paltry ware.
Short dildos leave the pleasure half undone.
I'm sorry, my lord, I do have a question.
Are you sure this entertainment will be fitting
for both the occasion and the company?
Molly, the entire piece has been devised
with the French in mind.
In Paris, fornication in the streets
with total strangers is compulsory.
Oh, beg pardon, my lord,
my most southerly venture is Epsom.
My lord!
I asked for no interruptions.
My suit is one of the utmost urgency.
The stage direction
at the end of this scene requires,
in my opinion, some authorial exposition.
It seems straightforward enough.
Yes. Um...
"Then dance six naked men and women,
the men doing obedience to the women's cunts,
kissing and touching them often.
The women in like manner to the men's pricks,
kissing and dandling their cods,
and then fall to fucking,
after which the women sigh
and the men look simple, and so sneak off. "
The end of the second act
A strong scene.
An eminently playable scene,
and, though I say it myself, a climactic one.
And will the kind of equipment
that young lady has in her hand
be available to gentlemen for...
.. strapping around the middle
for the execution of this scene?
I had not envisaged you to be so encumbered.
I feel the scene should be given... in the flesh.
And will we give... two performances on the day?
No, Mr Harris.
Oh, I am glad to hear that from the author.
With the dress rehearsal, the court performance
and the public showing, I envisage