dealers.
Yes.
Jack, that's him,
the henchman with the glass eye.
Sir, are you a henchman?
No. I only go as far as lackey.
Will there be anything else?
Yeah. Take off your sunglasses.
- Who's asking?
- The tin man.
- Well, tin man, suppose you hit the bricks.
- No. They're the wrong color.
Are they? Oh, dear. By all means, let's
change them. Would arterial red suit you?
Make no mistake.
They are exceptionally well-trained.
I snap my fingers again,
and some time tomorrow
you emerge from several canine recta.
Or you and Toto can go back to
the land of Oz.
- Questions?
- Yeah.
Two of them.
Why am I wasting time
on a dime store putz like you
when I could be doing something
much more dangerous?
Like rearranging my sock drawers.
And two, how exactly are you going to
snap your fingers
after I rip off both of your thumbs?
Have a nice day.
He had one with a bull's-eye
when he was with your second cousin.
He hates his boss.
He calls him a Sicilian schmuck.
How did Slater find out? Will you tell me?
I want him to join me, but he's nuts.
He keeps going after the bad guys.
Where is it written I'm a bad guy?
Find out who talked and have him killed.
Then, Slater.
Hey. Hey!
What's with you?
We should change
the funeral arrangements.
Are you crazy?
When I say bloodbath, there is
- a bloodbath.
- A bloodbath.
I'm going to find out more
about Slater's short friend.
Come on, Jack.
That guy has got to be guilty of something.
Yeah. He's guilty of acting like an asshole.
If I arrest him,
I have to arrest half of Congress.
Why did we park back there?
In case my ex-wife is around.
Don't worry, she's not.
Her name wasn't in the credits.
Kid, who does the doctor treat?
Patients.
Look at the elbow of my jacket.
What is it doing?
- Wearing thin?
- Bingo.
Geez, that was a stretch.
Wow! Is this
what you drive on the weekends?
No, this is my little girl's car.
Come on. Knock on the door.
I told you, your ex-wife's not home.
Her name wasn't in the credits.
Meredith?
I hope you mean Whitney.
Sorry. Whitney.
You're not Skeezy, are you?
Daddy! Oh, my God.
- Daddy!
- You've gained some weight.
Hi. I'm Danny Madigan
and I realize I haven't had that long of a life,
but I just want you to know that
from now on, it's all going to be downhill.
- Hello, sweetheart, you look wonderful.
- Thank you.
So, who's your friend? He's cute.
No, he's not cute, he's hopelessly insane.
Very soon he's gonna tell you
he loved you in Gone with the Wind.
- This is her first movie.
- You see?
- Now who is Skeezy?
- It's just a sorority thing, Dad. What they do
is they assign you a freshman, and
when he comes to the door, you kiss him.
- Do you have to kiss him?
- Dad, would you come on?
Okay, would you grab the phone
and if it's for me, I'll be out of the shower
in less than one hour for sure.
What a cutie.
It's old evidence. Counterfeit case.
Looks real, doesn't it?
Turns funny colors when you burn it.
Try using it for alimony.
What's wrong?
You don't happen to have a cigar, do you?
"I'll be back." I know, I know.
Dad! Dad!
He would have been your age.
I know.
The Ripper killed him three years ago.
Pulled him down off the roof.
Your dad saw everything.
How did you know all that?
Your pop gets in the papers a lot.
I'm interested in crime stories.
- That's Skeezy.
- I'll get rid of him.
Hello, Toto.
There, there, and there.
No! Let go of me! Let go of me!
- Stop it!
- Evening. Uncle Jack around?
Mr. Slater's off tracking a lead somewhere.
Joey, would you teach her
the virtue of silence?
- Right.
- Benedict.
- If you harm a hair on her head...
- Stop!
Go away! Stop it! No!
You were saying?
Now, I believe
it was Sherlock Holmes who said
that if you eliminate
all the logical solutions to a problem,
the illogical, however impossible,
is invariably true.
You see, I know
that your name is Daniel Madigan.
What I don't understand
is how you know mine.
Slater