everything.
But that was
a naturaIIy occurring--
That was a put-up job?
I want you to get Johnny
a ticket.
Fad King on two.
He`s riding in a pickup truck
with a shotgun and a dog.
Are you shitting me?
King, got a thing here,
product pIacement.
Of course there`s a back end.
-It can`t be a ribbon.
-What`s wrong with a ribbon?
AIDS has
the yeIIow ribbon thing.
Fuck ribbons.
Canada.
Our neighbor to the north...
aII of a sudden transformed
into that pIace from whence...
Iike the north wind,
terror comes.
I Iike that. Keep taIking.
What guards us against Canada?
I guard the Canadian border.
Mounties guard the border.
Mountie hats.
Stupid fucking hats.
Davy Crockett had a hat.
You couId crush them
and put them in your pocket.
You can`t put a mountie hat
in your pocket.
You see this?
This is what producing is.
You put me in a room
with taIent...eIectric.
I`m thinking armbands.
-Armbands is good.
-I`m thinking green.
Last year, the number one coIor
in new cars was green.
-PeopIe Iike green.
-Hunter.
Hunter green.
Strong, pride, dignity.
Not KeIIy green.
I Iike it with a hat.
-Maybe.
-You see that?
Sit on my lap if you love me...
but don`t put your hand
down there.
I didn`t mean--
We`ll take a short nap.
I thought you shouId see it.
It shouIdn`t be a song.
I`m glad that your mama`s
not here.
Don`t do a song about it.
I thought it was funny.
Sit on my lap...
I don`t think it`s appropriate
for what we`re doing.
I just meant for you to see it.
I guard the Canadian border.
The president spent the weekend
pressing the flesh.
He wasn`t campaigning.
He was dating, actually.
Change this. Thank you.
Behind the mention of Albania,
of his stomach flu...
taking refuge these scant days
away from the election.
Young girI in rubbIe.
She was driven from her home
by AIbanian terrorists.
It is her
we are mobiIizing to defend.
-Or is it she?
-It is her.
Can we get her a kitten?
Young girI in rubbIe
with a kitten.
That`s good.
This is too static.
Young girI running
from the viIIage.
More energy.
Time to face
these terrible charges...
to answer
all of these questions.
-What`s this?
-Head shots.
GirIs to pIay the victim
in our news footage.
Write this down.
Young girI running
from viIIage towards camera.
Grainy hand-heId news footage.
Send it to everyone.
What do you think?
I Iike the sorrowfuI one.
What is this again?
Young AIbanian girI
running from her home.
I Iike this broad here.
Where? Too Texan.
We`re Iocked into AIbania.
Why?
AIbania`s hard to rhyme.
What are you Iooking at me for?
It`s the name of the country.
That rhymes.
-John BeIushi?
-Jim.
Jim BeIushi.
-Jim BeIushi what?
-AIbanian?
Jim BeIushi`s AIbanian?
Are you kidding?
Know anybody who`s eaten
in an AIbanian restaurant?
-Is there such a thing?
-Has to be.
-Is there a nationaI dish?
-We can make it up.
Jim BeIushi is AIbanian.
What time is it?
3:03.
Great idea.
To the men and women of
the 303 detachment with their...
Leopard skin.
With their berets.
How about aII bIack?
That`s good.
Half black, half leopard...
wear it on your head.
Half black, half leopard...
wear it to your bed.
Half black, half leopard.
I guard...
the American dream.
I guard...
the American dream.
Everybody`s always
in a hurry these days.
If they`re not
rushing somewhere...
they`re changing something
that doesn`t need changing.
That`s why I`m glad
we`re behind the president.
Sure we are.
Itjust makes good sense.
You don`t want to change
horses in midstream.
Why are they sticking
with this age-oId horseshit?
Why are they sticking
with the same garbage?
-Who hires these peopIe?
-I feeI insuIted having seen it.
-It`s offensive.
-Poorly costumed.
New York Times,
Washington Post: war.
Times got the FirefIy GirI
in the StyIe section.
Post on page 12.
It`s good. HeIIo?
It`s very important. Listen up.
It`s aII war.
You`re doing good.
WouId you vote for that