min at best.
You however grew up
on the north shore, huh?
Well, lah - di
- fuckin' - da.
You're kind of a double
kid I bet, right?
Huh?
One kid with your old man,
one kid with your mother,
You're upper middle class,
durin' the weeks
then you dropping
your r's and you're
hangin' in the big
bad Southy projects
with your daddy, the fuckin'
donkey on the weekends.
I got that right?
Yep?
You got different accents?
You did, didn't you,
you little fuckin' snake,
you were like different people.
Are you a psychiatrist?
Oh, if I was, I'd ask you
why you are a Statey
making thirty grand a year,
and I think if I was Sigmond fucking
Freud, I wouldn't get an answer.
So tell me,
what's a lace-curtain motherfucker
like you doing in the Staties?
Families are always rising and
falling in America, am I right?
Who said that?
Hawthorne.
What's the matter, smartass, you
don't know any fucking Shakespeare?
We have a question.
Do you wanna be a cop,
or do you wanna appear to be a cop?
It's an honest question.
Lot of guys wanna appear to be cops,
gun, badge, pretend they're on TV...
Lot of them just
wanna slam a nigger's
head through a plate glass window.
I'm all set without your own
personal job application, right?
What the fuck did you
say to me, trainee?
With all due respect, sir,
what do you want from me?
Hey asshole, he can't help you!
I know what you are, Ok?
I know what you are and
I know what you're not.
I'm the best friend you have
on the face of this Earth
and I'm gonna help you
understand something, you punk,
you're no fucking cop!
He's right.
We deal in deception here, what we
do not deal with is self-deception.
Five years from now you could
be anything else in the World,
but you will not be a
Massachusettes State trooper.
Are you sure of that?
I'm sure of that.
Guaran - fuckin'
- teed.
You got 1400 on your SAT's, kid,
you're an astronaut, not a Statey.
You don't have much family.
I don't have any family.
What's that I hear from Stephanie
about, you're becoming a policeman?
What do you here mean, Stephanie,
who was the only one who came
to my father's funeral?
That... that Stephanie?
Yeah. That Stephanie.
Not much to it uncle Edward.
You're trying to prove
something to the family?
When you say: the family,
who do you mean exactly? You?
You always have to question
everything, don't you?
Maybe it would have done you
some good, to have some questions
from time to time, you know?
Am I an asshole? Are my kids a mess?
Is my wife amoney-grubbing
whore? Huh?
I mean, those are questions, right?
Have I ever been good
to my dying sister,
or am I just now pretending to be?
Do you need some
money for the funeral?
When my mother dies, we
don't have any more connection.
It's very lovely, you got the high
ceilings, you got the parquet floors,
the bathroom is massive...
...the fridge,
it's got an alarm in it,
in case you have... you know,
eating issues. Which was a
joke, not very funny one...
There is a great view
of the State House,
Beacon Hill, you can see it.
I mean if you move in, you're
upper class by about tuesday.
So you're a cop?
Yes, State Police Detective.
State Police Detective.
And are you married,
State Police Detective?
No.
'Cause this kind of a...
sort of a... big place, and...
I'll have a co-signer.
Oh cool. Ya.
You tend to have a house
guest. That's cool.
You'll got...
Just give me the papers.
Sure.
Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord
and let the the perpetual
light shine upon her.
May she rest in peace,
May her soul, and the souls
of all the faithful departed.
Through the mercy of God,
rest in peace.
Amen.
Heaven holds the faithful
Departed. F. Costello.
So what do I do?
There's money behind this operation.
You won't be paid as a regular
cop, but there's a bonus involved.
Tax free.
We can't conceal
that you were a trainee.
You ll be convicted of a crime.
We were thinking a guilty plea to