him.
I used to go out with him.
It's no big secret, for God's sake.
It's no big secret?
Then how come I didn't know about it?
Well, maybe you never asked.
- Okay, I'm asking. Did you sleep with him?
- No, Dan, we were bowling partners.
So you fucked him
and you see him every goddamn day?
- That's just fucking great!
- Hey, you know that I'm not sleeping around!
And if that's what you wanna do,
then why don't you have the balls
to just come out and say it?
Hey! Hey!
- Where are you going?
- I'm not staying here.
No, you stay here. I'll leave.
Don't be ridiculous. You live here.
We live here! We live here!
Debbie!
He is not worth it, you know?
- I hate that number they play.
- Establishing dominance?
I feel like a fire hydrant
that's been pissed on.
Well, maybe it's job-related.
I mean, the man does sell toilet paper
for a living.
- Joan, please. Don't.
- All right, all right.
I just... I just don't know what I'm doing.
I feel like we're a couple of kids
playing house.
I mean, what's it supposed to be like?
Look, holidays...
Holidays are hard on some guys.
That's not it. I used the big "L" word.
You see?
You tell someone that you love them,
and all you get is a headache.
- What's going on?
- I have someone I want you to meet.
- Deborah?
- Yeah. Gary.
Pleased to meet you. Excuse the attire.
She's had a blowout with her boyfriend.
Hey, guys can be real assholes sometimes.
Why don't you get a good night's sleep,
and it'll all get fixed up in the morning.
He'll come around.
And if he doesn't,
you can always move back in here.
"And then an angel of the Lord
descended upon the Virgin Mary..."
What's "descended"?
Came down from out of the sky.
"And then an angel of the Lord
descended upon the Virgin Mary..."
What's a virgin?
A virgin is someone who has never had sex.
What's sex?
Sex?
Sex is how men and women make babies.
Are you a virgin?
No.
So, you have a baby?
No.
Men and women who don't want babies
also have sex.
- What for?
- For about 10 or 15 minutes.
"And then an angel of the Lord..."
And Santa Claus
came down the chimney and...
Dan! Dan, hold on a second!
I'll be right back, all right?
Dan, Dan, come here.
I got this broad that's dying to meet you.
Come here, come here.
This is Carmen. This is Danny.
- Hi, Danny.
- Hi.
Bernie says you might want
to go out dancing later on. Like, what time?
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna have to take a rain check tonight.
Wait, wait right here. Dan. Dan!
Come on, come dancing. Come dance,
and we'll go over to my place,
have a little party.
Play "spin the pickle." Come on.
Bernie, I can't.
There's been tension at home.
I'm sorry about that, Dan.
But this Carmen's a sure thing.
She's hot, hot, hot.
She'll grab yourjoint on the dance floor.
Merry Christmas, Bernie.
Yeah. Merry Christmas, Danny.
Alan, my friend. Alan, how are you?
Merry Christmas to you, too.
Would you hold this for me, please?
- I'll just set it on your desk.
- All right.
Thank you.
Hey there.
- Don't you ever think about me anymore?
- Sure.
What we had was pretty good, wasn't it?
It was fine.
Do you remember last year's party,
what we did when we came in here?
Steve, don't. Just... Just turn on the light.
I had to stuff a mitten in your mouth
to keep you from laughing.
God damn it, Steve!
- What?
- Look, there's somebody else now.
Well, you're not married. I don't see a ring.
I don't need a ring!
I don't need a ring, you asshole.
Look at me. Don't I look different?
I mean, I'm in love. Can't you tell?
I mean, this has never
happened to me before.
I want to have 10 kids with this guy.
I mean, Jesus, doesn't it show?
Does he love you?
I don't know.
Thanks.
Good luck.
- Here you go.
- Hi, honey.
This is my boss, Steve. This is Dan.
- Hey, come on, take it easy!
- Dan!
Take it easy. It's all right. It's all right.
Take it easy.
This is great, hon. Lots of fun.
- Here, let me get that for you.
- Thank you.