entering
the studio, today's contestants.
A plumber from Antlers, Oklahoma,
let's welcome Johnny Lee Bartlett.
-Is she breast-feeding?
-She doesn't even want to hold her.
The doctor says it's just a phase.
Her age, all the changes.
The natural tendency
to mother will kick in.
I mean, it's a genetic animal instinct.
-You mean, like Wild Kingdom?
-Sort of.
I don't know, man.
Maybe she didn't get enough oxygen
to her brain during the delivery.
Maybe she wanted a boy.
Because, you know, in China
they only allow one kid per family.
So sometimes if they have a girl first,
they'll kill it.
-Retro.
-It's true.
Stan, this is a complex
manifestation of jealousy.
You're paying too much attention
to the other woman.
I didn't know you could pay
too much attention to a baby.
I know. I know.
-Is that my niece?
-Say hi to your Aunt Mary.
-She's so cute.
-Hi, honey.
-How are you?
-Oh, let me have that baby.
Oh, don't be upset.
Look at those teeny-weeny feet.
Look at those teeny-weeny feet.
Look at those ears.
-Does Dad know you're here?
-Are you kidding?
-Where's Darcy?
-She's in the bedroom.
Postpartum depression.
How did Stan and Darcy
get the name?
What?
Did Stan and Darcy name
the baby after Grandma?
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
How did Grandma get her name?
Oh, well, from her mother, of course.
My grandma Theadosia.
Grandma was nice.
I wish she wasn't in heaven.
Yeah, me too, Mary.
Was your grandmother nice?
Oh, nice. Hey, my grandmother
was the best.
Gee, I remember one time,
I was just about your age...
...I broke a window at school.
My mother was away,
I don't know where.
Anyway, the principal called
my grandmother down to his office.
-Did you get in trouble?
-See, that's the thing of it.
The thing was, not only did
my grandmother pay for the window...
...she didn't tell my father.
Because if she had told my father...
...I still wouldn't be able to sit
down right, you know what I mean?
See, that's the thing of it.
Grandparents, they love
you so much...
...that even when you do something
wrong, you know...
...they don't see the wrong in it.
-Dad.
-Yeah.
Are you a grandparent?
Here, wear this if you're
gonna be out in the sun.
Back with a third straight week,
our returning champion...
...a plumber from Antlers, Oklahoma,
Johnny Lee Bartlett.
Honey, baby, that stinks.
Oh, my God, we're talking
Guinness Book here!
We're bronzing this one.
We have to call the fire
department and hose this girl down.
Mommy's not feeling well today.
You have to tell her our funny
stories and make her laugh.
How did that feel?
My princess.
My little girl is squeaky clean.
Your daddy loves you so much.
Daddy's gonna miss you tonight.
That's right. Oh, you smell so good.
You want to hold her for a while?
She misses you, you know.
Your daddy loves you so much.
Here's your blanket.
Take care of Mr. Blondie
for me, all right?
Don't you pee on Mr. Pinkie.
She's all clean,
and the formula's in the fridge.
I'm late. I gotta go back for inventory
before Kolby kills me.
I'll lock up.
Bye. I hope you feel better.
"I felt like when she was
being ripped out from inside of me...
...everything I loved
about being young...
...was ripped out at the same time."
If I could just learn
to understand her.
Hi, there's a man outside my fire
escape outside my window.
I live at 408112 North Vicker,
second floor.
Darcy Bobrucz.
Can you please hurry?
B-O--
Look, I'm about to be murdered.
Spell it any way you want.
It's okay, Thea. Mommy's here.
Nobody's gonna hurt my baby.
Yeah. Nobody will hurt you.
It's okay.
Please go away.
I just talked to the cops, and
they'll be here any second.
Besides, we don't
even have any money.
We just got our second notice
on our electric bill.
So go away, please.
He's gone now.
That bad old man is gone.
You know Mommy
wouldn't let him hurt you.
Come on,